i'm not saying i'm the best parent in the world but...

i think our world would have way less problems if people were good parents and weren't so self absorbed in their own life. when i had Tyler it wasnt the ideal situation, but when i first laid eyes on him i knew that it wasn't about me anymore and it was hard to adjust at first because your whole life all you know is you. But i did realize pretty quickly that, i would much rather spend my time with Ty then anyone else in the world and nothing else mattered. A lot of people i know (young and old) dont agree and would rather go hang out with their friends and leave their children with someone else. I guess the main person who does this is James, on his weekends he will go out with his friends and leave tyler and michael to spend 1/2 of the day, the whole night, and the next day at his parents. He has 6+ nights a month to go out without the kids and he does, but he continues to do it when he does have the kids and doesnt see a problem with it. I call him sometimes to see if i can pick up ty early and he tells me he ran to the store or somewhere and the kids are at home with his girlfriend. I dont understand why this has to happen either, when i need to run to the store i either take tyler, or ask jake to go. I just called James now to see when he is coming to pick up ty and he said he needs to wait for his girlfriend to get home so he doesnt have to take mike. I asked him why he didnt want to take him and he said, "i dont want to." Why is it so hard to take him? He is 5, he gets dressed by himself, gets in his car seat by himself and that's really all he has to do, just sit in the car.
I am also babysitting for my friend while i find a job and her boyfriend got fired and doesnt have a job but is still having me watch her while he cleans the house, gets his car fixed, and runs errands (all coming from him). He also never once has said bye to his kid, and everyday he says he will pick her up early and he never has. (its been 3 weeks of this)
I just do not understand this mentality that a child is too annoying to do everyday things that people do all the time with children. James asks me all the time if i ever need a break and need to be social. I tell him that he has Ty every-other weekend and on wed. nights for dinner, that is like 10 nights a month!!! And in my opinion it is wwwaaaayyyy too much! I hate that tyler is away from me that much, i would rather Ty only go over to james' once or twice a month. If i want to do something with friends i wait until those days, and if they want to do something on a different day when i have tyler, i pretty much say no, unless its a special occasion. I dont think he understands how incredibly lucky he is to have as many days as he does with out his kids, most parents dont get to go out ever, and for him to be complaining is completely ridiculous.

PS. I also dont understand when people call their children bad words, not like cuss words but like 'brat' or 'bad' If you dont like the way you raised your kids you should change something about it, not call them names, it's not their fault they act the way they do, its yours.

PSS. I also dont understand why some parents refuse to read any type of parenting book, or website or anything. I know several parents who think that their motherly instincts will just kick in and they will know how to take care of their kid, umm no, you wont. You will not know that its incredibly important for you child to be on a schedule and the reason why your baby is crying is because you dont have a bedtime routine, or that around one they should stop drinking out of a bottle because it will mess up their teeth. You are dumb for thinking you can just know everything.

My life can now resume

I haven't written in a while because i was starting to feel like this blog was a jinx. Every time i wrote something about the house something would go wrong the next day. . .

But we finally got the keys to our condo and everything is over! Thank God! In between now and my last blog the following things happened:

- a pipe burst in Jake's parents house and black mold got everywhere, therefore we moved into my parents house..ugh. we have slept on an air mattress for the last month.
- we picked out a school for tyler to go to. I am really excited about it, I'm so glad that we live in a world where i can pick what school he goes to based on test scores and stuff. James wants Ty and Mike to go to the same school and Mike needs to go the same school as his cousin (same age) so we looked like a bunch of hillbillies coming to the school for three 5 year olds all connected in a weird way.
-The company i work for decided to file bankruptcy and called us at 6am to tell us the company no longer exists, not to come in to work, and that we aren't getting paid for the last two weeks we worked. That was awesome. Luckily Jake makes way more money then i did so its not a huge deal and i already have 3 interviews lined up : )
- Ty turned 5! He is a full blown kid now, not a baby or a toddler or any of that, i feel so old. He had so much fun getting presents (of course). I got him a MP3 player because he kept taking mine, it was his favorite gift and he plays it all of the time. : ) I like getting him things he likes.
-I signed up for a digital photography class at PVCC, it starts on Monday and i am excited about it. I have learned most of the photography from groups on-line and i have learned a lot but i want some people contact.

I think that is it. I can't wait to get into the condo so i can put up pictures! And not live with anyone else. This whole thing was really horrible and i am glad it is over!

the economy sucks balls

So ty and i had an amazing day today, we went to this awesome place in chandler that is an indoor play area, that he loves and we spent 4 hours there having fun. And ty was happy all day and we had a really good time. I came home tonight, put ty to bed and read all of the crap mail that we get and one was from his doctor place that he goes to. As everyone knows, ty was born with a cleft lip and pallate. When ty was born the nice nurses gave me all of this really helpful information about welfare and every state program that i could possibly use, (which i obviously needed at the time). one of the things they gave me was a brochure for a place called CRS which St. Joseph's hospital is a part of and it's also a state funded program. If your child has a birth defect you can take them here and they will help the child until they are 21 with the birth defect related issues. And i think like 80% of the people got everything for free (surgeries and everything). It may sound like just a doctors office with specialists, but this place has every type of doctor in one building and they all work together on the patients, with one file and they talk to each other and stuff. They are really good doctors too, they all have regular offices somewhere else and come in to CRS a couple times a month. Ty's cleft effects him in so many ways that these are all of the following people he sees there:

1. plastic surgeon

2. ENT

3. Speech Therapist

4. Dentist

5. Orthodontist

6. regular pediatrician

7. Genealogy councilor (for parents and for him when he's older)

all of these people work with his cleft and all of them are fantastic. About 6 months ago we got a letter saying that Az. was cutting the budget a bit and that we would start having to pay co-pays just like a normal doctor. Which is fine, i don't like the place because it's free, i would probably pay more then a regular doc. visit because of how awesome it is. (btw, not everyone has to pay co-pays, just the "rich" people...yeah i qualify as rich...dumb) So we had a couple doctors appointments, paid co-pays and then some, and today i get a letter saying that State funding has completely been suspended for CRS and we will be dis-enrolled as of 12/1/09. But people who still qualify for welfare can still go, for completely free. Now i don't care about the people who are on welfare, they obviously need it, just like i did before, but i was paying anyways why am i now not allowed to go?? Ty still needs to have so much work done and i am so upset that i have to go get different doctors, and that all of the stuff wont be coordinated. We will probably still go to his ENT but it is literally impossible to go to his plastic surgeon because he doesn't accept private insurance. I feel like we have to start all over again and it's sad that the state are cutting the wrong things. I know they cut daycare funding, foster care funding, health care, and my mom who works for the state took a big pay-cut too. Those are all really important things and i feel like they are being stupid.

I guess i just feel like we had a plan to take care of everything until he was 21 and now we dont have that option and i am kind of scared to take him anywhere else, i just want everything to be fixed for him.

picture time

This weekend was full of pictures, just the way i like it. On friday i went to see 2 cast memebers from New Moon and it was freaking sweet. I went by myself because tickets were $75 and jake had work. I got a picture with both of them (but i wont have it until friday) and then they did a question and answer session which was super fun.

<--- this is charlie bewley he plays Demetri and he is super cute!!

This is daniel cudmore ---------->

he plays Felix and he is really really big. (he was also in the X-men movies)

Then on saturday we went to my sister's last state marching band festival, they did pretty good.

Then on sunday i did some pictures for my sister for senior pictures. that was so much fun! She is so photogenic, i hate her!

So we should move in to our new house next weeek which will be amazing. i cannot wait. Other then that nothing is new.

happy happy happy!!!!!!!!

So the offer on the second house was out bid by someone so oh well, i dont really care because we finally have a house!!! and let me tell you the story behind it.

So when ty was a baby and he wouldnt go to sleep i would drive him around in the car with classical music to get him to go to sleep, (side note: some parents are against that but i dont see why) and it would always get him to fall asleep. When Jake and i started dating he would come with me and we got in this habit of going around looking at all of the for sale houses and then taking the flyers and guessing how much they were selling for. It was a fun game. On our drives we came across these new condos that were being built all over the place by the same builder and i loved them!!! we went to every one and went through the model homes and i have always always wanted to live in one. when we decided to move out of our apartment a couple years ago, they were selling the last of the condos and had a huge "sale" on them, so i asked how much a 3 bedroom was and it was like 255k which is more then we could afford, obviously. so that was out, but for the last 2 years whenever i pass one i always see if they are renting some out and nobody has. So when i was about to give up on the house search one of those condos popped up on our list with 4 bedrooms (2 master bedrooms and 2 kid) 3 baths and below our price!!! holy cow i flipped out! i called the realtor, James, and Jake and we went to look at the condo. I told them that i wasnt going to get excited about the house because i knew we wouldnt get it, they normally were way more expensive, it is a super new house and there is no way we wouldnt get out bid. So we went for fun. Well then we made an offer for fun. And they freaking accepted our offer!!!!!!!! And the FHA doesnt have to do an inspection because it was built in 2005 so everything is good with it. So we have no problems there. Well really we have no problems at all we are just waiting for all of the paperwork. I am so excited!! I have always wanted to live in one of these and it's perfect, beyond perfect. James has a master bedroom on his own floor and we have one on our own floor, it has room for everyone, enough room for all of the toys we have. It's just perfect! I cannot believe that with all of the crap we have been through (we've been looking since April!), we end up with my dream condo. The boys are a little upset that it doesnt have a yard, but it has a pool that we dont have to take care of! Here's a picture, its not an actual picture of the one we are moving into but it looks just the same, it the 3 story one.

on another note...Ty has been having a lot of accidents lately and it is getting really annoying. He keeps getting distracted and just waits until the last second and then runs to the bathroom but doesnt make it. I dont understand what's going on with that.

Jake has needed a new phone for like 2 years and we finally went to the store and Verizon was having a deal where you can buy one get one free on Blackberry Storms and so we both got one!! i love it! Having the internet on my phone with a huge screen is awesome! and i downloaded the Twilight Saga on my phone so i can read it wherever i want.

im going crazy!

so the FHA did an inspection on the house we've been waiting to close on for the last 6 months and they said that it needed 17,500 bucks worth of stuff to fix before we could buy it. So we could either have the bank fix it or we could move in and have like 30 days before they came back to check and make sure we did it. Well we were already planning on doing most of it anyways, but some of it we needed the bank to do and they said no. So we are not getting that house and the bank put it back up on the market as a cash only buy. Which in my opinion is super super dumb on their part. but oh well. So we have been house hunting and put a bid on a really cute house on thursday and hopefully we will get that one. there wont be any problems with it and it will close fast but they still have to accept our offer first. If they dont accept it then jake and i are going to get an apartment until we get a freaking house because there is nothing that is worth staying here longer. I want to cry every night. But i haven't yet because at least i know that i chose this and i can leave if i want, we arent stuck here and we'll be out of here next month no matter what.

And on Wednesday James is taking ty to Philly for his family vacation. His whole family is going, it's like a family reunion and he'll be gone for 5 days. I am going to be so sad, i hate that he's going on a plane without me, going across the country with me, meeting some of his family for the first time without me, and going to see all of the historical things there without me. I hate being away from him. : ( Tyler assured me though that jake will be here for me and give me whatever i want, and he said he will call me everyday and give me a flower when he comes back... i dont know where he gets this stuff from he is such a suck up.

i guess i blogged to soon...

remember when i wrote that we would be in our house next week!??!?! well, ha yeah right! We got a call that next week that said everything was done and we would be in in 24-48 hours we just needed the title and keys. Well literally 3 hours after they called us the lender got raided by the US Govnt and got shut down for illegal activity. It's not some little company either they own 10% of the market right now. So now we have to start all over again with a new company and so far everything is good. But remember how we moved in to jakes parents house for just a week or two well, now we are stuck here. I seriously want to cry every day. I feel like a failure even though we voluntarily moved out & we could still afford our house but were trying to not end up paying rent and a mortgage in one month. But who's laughing now....(i dont know if that's the right thing to say or not but i am NOT laughing!!!) Jake's parents are nice, his dad is great but his mom has a disability that causes her to stay home most of the time and she is now nocturnal, so we hardly ever see her but when we wake up the house (mostly the kitchen) is a mess. She leaves dishes everywhere, not even in the sink (let alone washing them out or anything), they are just everywhere. And Jake's sister is complete opposite of me and it's really hard. She is older then us and still lives at home, has a bachelor's degree but is working at Payless. When she's not at work she just watches TV or plays video games, nothing productive, ever. And her kitchen habits are worse then her mom's. She will cook a TV dinner then put the whole thing on a plate (not empty it on to a plate, she'll put the container and everything on a plate) then when she's done she will put the whole thing, including the container and the plate that isnt dirty in the sink. I have no clue why she doesnt eat out of the container then throw it away!!!! And i really wouldnt complain but jake and i are the only ones doing dishes so we have to deal with it. Maybe i should be grateful, but really we didnt want to live here for more then 2 weeks, this was not the plan. and then to be constantly cleaning up after everyone it just really really ticks me off, they are worse then Tyler.

And BTW if any of you have seen my car before you must know that i am a very messy person so it takes a lot for me to complain about someone else being messy..

So this new company promised us that we would close by sept. 30th so everyone please pray that it goes through and i dont pull my hair out and keep my mouth shut while we're here.