baptise or baptize??

So i haven't gotten Tyler baptized yet and it seems like a never ending problem with my family, which it should not be. My whole childhood i was forced to go to church. I use the word forced because it is true. I loved going to church and at one point i spent 4 days there a week between all of the activities i was in, but honestly i only went for the socializing and that it got me out of the house. Well when i got a little older i would ask my parents once in a while (like once every 4 or 5 months) if i could stay home from church for various reason, i was sick, too tired ect. and every flippin time they said no. We would literally get into yelling matches about going to church and it was ridiculous. In high school i would have football games on Friday night and band competitions on Saturday and would be exhausted on Sunday morning, the last thing i want to do is get up early and go listen to a boring sermon. I think my parents resistance really changed my views on things as far as church goes. I mean they are great parents, but every parent makes mistakes and i feel like this is one they messed up on. You should never force a child to go to church (especially all of the time) if they don't want to, it is essentially forcing your opinions on someone which pisses people off.

Well my whole family is extremely involved in the church, not just my immediate family but my extended family as well, i have several different pastors in my family and the ones who aren't pastors might as well be. They spend all of there time on committees, doing church activities, ect. Which is fine, but the point of my blog is Tyler's baptism. I am constantly asked about baptising Tyler and i have always put it off and we are having a family reunion next weekend and i just got asked again to have ty baptised there. I decided it was finally time to make a decision, which i think i made a long time ago. I told them i didn't think that Ty should be baptised because of James' religion, he is Catholic. Even though that is not the full reason it is the majority of it and ties in to my thought process on this. I know that during the baptism as a parent you have to agree to be a good parent and raise the kid they best you can (duh) and then you also have to agree to bring them up in the church with the church beliefs. Some people say that that is not what being baptized means, but they have you agree to it, so that is what it means. I do not want to be the parent who says, "hey we are united methodists in this family, so that is what we are teaching you, that is what you will believe." Especially with his dads side of the family being catholic, even though the two religions came from the same idea they are way different. It would be so wrong of me to have him baptized and stand up there and say that i will raise him to be a christian if i don't plan on doing that. When he gets older i actually plan on doing opposite of that, we are going to make sure ty has knowledge about all of the different religions, and let him go to mass, synagogues, temples, etc. Religion is such an important part of who you are and he needs to figure it out by himself and decide what is right for him.

last twilight post for about 400ish days

i want to write about this not because anyone cares but because it is bothering the heck out of me!

James' mom got me tickets to see Eclipse at 9pm before the movie came out and since we had already gotten tickets for the midnight show i got to see Eclipse twice in a row. I was super excited because with New Moon (my least favorite book of the series) i was so excited the first time that i liked it better the second time because i let it sink in and could enjoy it more. Eclipse is really the peak of all of the books it has major conflict, romance, intensity, passion etc so i was really excited to see this film. I felt like the first movie was on a crap budget so it was great but not spectacular, New moon had a crap load of more money in it so it was obviously a step up and i loved it, so i expected Eclipse with all of the awesome book material and all of the money to be the best one yet and that is what everybody was saying it was (all of the reviews and such). So during the movie i found myself watching the movie and getting really excited when a good scene was coming up and then kind of being disappointed afterwords. So i get out of the first show and thought to myself, "hmm something is off but i cant tell what it is, I'm sure after the midnight show i will feel better." But then i saw it again and i was so bored, and this is not because i saw it twice in a row. When we got out of the second showing i thought to myself, "man, i liked the movie of course but i don't know why i am not into it as much as i should be." So i slept on it, and i still couldn't put my finger on it, so the next day i read a bunch of reviews of what other people thought, and everyone loved it. I did not find one bad review (from a fan). But then i had an epiphany! I realized that during new moon my heart was racing, i laughed really hard, and even cried at one point. And during eclipse i only chuckled a little, the only time my heart raced was at the beginning when i was excited, and i never once teared up. I was not emotionally connected to this movie at all and that is the problem. Eclipse (the book) has the most emotion out of all of the books and i don't think there was one time during the movie that i felt a strong emotion, or actually "in" the movie.

I'm going to go again in a couple weeks just to see if maybe i was just in a bad mood or something. And don't get me wrong, the movie was great, it flowed well (the only problem i had with new moon) and they kept in most of the great lines and scenes, they did a good job condensing the book, and they acting improved. But if i just would have had the emotional connection i got with new moon and while reading the books i would be a happy girl. I mean that's the whole reason i like the series because of its ability to make me emotional while reading it. I'm still going to see it 1-3 more times in the theater, im still going to buy 3 copies of the movie, and I'm still going to watch it over and over, but i am just a little disappointed.

Since this is going to be my last post about twilight in 400ish days i am going to get it all out...
We have decided to do something different every year for the movies. Last year we went to the mall tour and got a couple autographs, this year we went to LA to the twilight convention, and with the last book being split in to two movies that means we are going to try and do two other things. We have decided to go to Forks for a vacation, we will probably be mostly in Seattle because Ive always wanted to go there but we'll spend a day or two in forks and la push. And then we decided that we are going to go to one of the premiers, which is really insane, you have to camp out on the sidewalk for 4 days. But it will be totally worth it! If they do another convention thing we are going to go to that again too, it was amazing. I am trying to collect as many autographs as i can and hopefully by the time this whole thing is over (in 2012) i will have everybody, i have 11 now so I'm off to a good start.

Breaking Dawn is my favorite book in the series so it better be freaking good! only 504 more days!! :)

things that are funny...

i had a crappy day at work so i decided i will write a blog about things that i found funny in the last week (that other people probably don't) to see if it will put me in a better mood.

- I was looking through my yearbooks and going through what people wrote in them and i came across one of tori's. She wrote an entire page full of a message and at one point it says, "we've been through so much and yet we are still friends. That must mean something right?...no matter how much we fight we're always going to be friends...have a great summer and remember no sex" I wasn't having sex with anybody when she wrote this so that was stupid. But looking at the dates this was written it got me thinking. She wrote this while she was sleeping with my boyfriend (not that i knew that then)...did she not want me to have sex with him so she could? why would she even put that in my yearbook? And really, we are not friends so i guess it doesn't mean anything that we have "been through a lot." I know it's high school drama and i'm over it but i thought it was really funny.

- My five year old knows more about twilight then i do (well not really). Yesterday ty came running in to my room to tell me that McDonalds had Twilight toys that came with the kids meal. And i had no clue about it! He was wrong and it was Burger King, but seriously i usually know everything that's going on with Twilight and Ty had to tell me about this. So today after school we went to BK and got some cool toys. :)

-Speaking of twilight (i know it is all i write about but the movie comes out in 5 days and then it will be a whole year before the next one) I was laughing at myself when i realized that when i was watching the Eclipse premier online last night i had 4 different windows open at the same time from different broadcasters trying to watch the most interviews at the same time. It went pretty well at first, i would watch one at a time and have the other ones muted then switch but at the end they had Rob on one, Kristen on another, and Taylor on another one! so how do i choose? I didnt, i played all of them at the same time trying to listen to all three interviews at once...Seriously if anyone would have seen me at that time they would have thought i was insane (which maybe i am).

-Its also funny to me how horrible people are at Internet stalking. I don't think i have anything online that is private because i don't have a need to hide anything from anyone (lets face it i am not that interesting). I'm not going to say anything else on the subject except for, again nothing of mine is private if you want to stalk me just go to my facebook, myspace, blog, flickr, etc. you don't have to embarrass yourself by trying to be sneaky just to fail at it.

babies...

do you remember last year when i wanted a baby more then anything in the world? well now i don't. I have completely changed my mind. Well not completely, but let me explain.

I don't think it would be a good idea to have another kid right now, for lots of reasons but two main ones.

1. James and Katie treat Michael and Tyler differently. they treat Michael better and really favor him more, (I'm not imagining this, they have admitted it to me). And it doesn't bother me because really Michael needs more attention since Tori is a horrible mother. But really James and Katie are only together so they can have a family (baby) together. James' whole goal in life is to have a baby with someone he's married to (he's told this to me) and all Katie has wanted her whole life is to be a stay at home mom. So when their baby comes i know that it will be their number one priority. And i know that Tyler will become less important at his house and kind of at the bottom of the totem poll. I want Tyler to feel like he has a stable, loving family who puts him first and values him. I don't want him to come home from james' and have to "compete" with another sibling for our attention. I'm not saying that just because you have more then one kid that one gets treated better then the other, but i know that is already the case with mike and ty and i know with out a doubt that it will be worse when the other baby comes.

2. I want to have some money. We pay daycare 800 dollars a month, and i want that money to travel, save, spend etc. Not to buy more diapers, daycare, formula etc. We have 2 more months of paying for daycare and i do not want to start over again.

But at the same time i also want to have another kid. I know that Jake and i could handle it, i know that ty will be a great big brother and i just in general want another kid. And the hardest part is that i know that Jake is dying for a kid of "his own." I don't know what will happen in the future but right now i think for Tyler we should be here for him and focus on just him for now.

twilight weekend

So we went to the Twilight Convention and it was (as nerdy as it sounds) one of the best weekends of my life, seriously something I will remember forever! We saw 23 of the actors from the movies, and got 7 more autographs to add to my collection (now i have 11 autographs!) The convention was on Fri, Sat, and Sun and on fri and sun there were only about 120 people there, but on Saturday (when the biggest stars were there) it was packed! over 2000 people and it was crazy! It was on several TV shows and even made international news, so it was a pretty big deal. And the best part was that i was just going to buy myself a ticket and go alone but jake wanted to go too, and because of the prices we couldn't afford two, but then the next day they came out with another package with tickets that were 200 dollars less then the one i was going to get so we got the cheaper ones so jake could go too. When we got there i noticed that the row right in front of us had the super expensive tickets so we had basically the same seats as them and paid way less! woot woot!

Of course everyone was there to see Rob, Kristen, & Taylor and when they came out everyone was screaming (of course) and when it died down Rob said something and everyone went crazy yelling again, and he was like, "what did i do?" (um obviously you spoke) It was super funny.

Two things sucked about the trip though:
1: The day after we left they were showing a screening of eclipse that i could have gone too, but had to go to work so we couldn't stay and extra day.
2: I found out that Eminem was handing out tickets to a concert about 2 miles away from us but i found out 20 minutes too late and so we missed him. Which sucks because how amazing would it be to meet eminem and see Rob in the same day! Oh my gosh i could die. but we didnt.

It was super awesome and i hope they do one next year for Breaking Dawn.

sister sister

so last week my sister graduated high school and we had a ton of parties and stuff to go to for her and because of my high school experience. i was prepared to feel sad that i didn't get to walk with my class mates and just in general hate myself for getting pregnant in school but what i didn't think about was how freaking upset i am that my sister is leaving me in a couple months. For the last year or two we have become really good friends i think and it is really upsetting to me that we spent 16 years not really liking each other then finally become friends and she is leaving for 4 years. If i want to go to a chick flick or shopping we always hang out but 2 hours to drive up to NAU is going to be too far to drive just to see a movie.

But i am glad that she is going away to college because she really needs a reality check of what life is about, so it will be good for her.

PS. If anybody is reading this and mentions to my sister this gushy stuff i will kill you... :)

craziest weekend of my life!!

it started on fri, on my last call at work my computer stopped working so i was stuck for a 1/2 an hour longer, which isn't long but it completely through off my day. I was late to James' wedding rehearsal, partly because of work and partly because i am pretty sure i was told the wrong time. But everything was fine and dandy.

The next day was James' wedding. His fiance (Katie) wanted me to basically follow her around all day, which is not what a normal wedding photog. does but oh well. We don't really have the best relationship and so i was really worried it was going to be an awkward day, but she was in a good mood and i wasn't going to ruin it for her so we actually got along the whole day. So we went to breakfast, hair, and make-up, then the wedding of course. I asked one of my friends to be a helper with me because i didn't want to F it up, so she came just for the actual wedding and i am so grateful she did. During the ceremony my camera decided to stop working for no reason (and it is fine now, but luckily Chris let me borrow his as a back up so i was able to use that, when they were cutting the cake the flash batteries died, when Ty was coming down the isle i started to cry (because i am a baby) so i know i didn't get the best shot there. If i didn't have her with help i would have missed those important parts. I knew this stuff was going to happen and i was prepared but seriously they happened at the worst time. The day went really well though and everyone was really thankful. The best part of the wedding though is that as soon as Ty started dancing everyone crowded around him and it was like a YouTube video, he was so funny! he was doing cartwheels, the robot and just a bunch of hilarious dance moves! And the best part is that a lot of people there didn't realize i was his mom so i loved over-hearing everyone say how cute and awesome he was. : ) Also apparently Katie told James' mom that I made her day "incredible" because of our time together, weird. If you want you can look at some pictures here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/30044222@N05/sets/72157623958335331/

On Sunday my sister and i went to the Glee concert! it was amazing! I have never been so excited for a concert since N*sync. Its amazing to see the whole cast of your favorite show live singing your favorite songs! The best part (and you wont get it unless you watch the show) before the show cheerios came around and passed around barf bags! Hilarious!!! We left the show and there was a crowed at the back door, my sister and i laughed at the stupid people who thought they were going to see the cast, so we walk up to the 6th floor of the parking garage and as soon as we get to the car everyone started screaming, of course the cast comes out! Oh well.

I also found out that in June Robert Pattinson (along with the rest of the cast) are appearing at the Twilight convention in LA. They never ever do anything like that and so Jake and i are going! It is really a once in a lifetime chance to see Rob and i am taking it. I am sooooo excited!!!