So i haven't gotten Tyler baptized yet and it seems like a never ending problem with my family, which it should not be. My whole childhood i was forced to go to church. I use the word forced because it is true. I loved going to church and at one point i spent 4 days there a week between all of the activities i was in, but honestly i only went for the socializing and that it got me out of the house. Well when i got a little older i would ask my parents once in a while (like once every 4 or 5 months) if i could stay home from church for various reason, i was sick, too tired ect. and every flippin time they said no. We would literally get into yelling matches about going to church and it was ridiculous. In high school i would have football games on Friday night and band competitions on Saturday and would be exhausted on Sunday morning, the last thing i want to do is get up early and go listen to a boring sermon. I think my parents resistance really changed my views on things as far as church goes. I mean they are great parents, but every parent makes mistakes and i feel like this is one they messed up on. You should never force a child to go to church (especially all of the time) if they don't want to, it is essentially forcing your opinions on someone which pisses people off.
Well my whole family is extremely involved in the church, not just my immediate family but my extended family as well, i have several different pastors in my family and the ones who aren't pastors might as well be. They spend all of there time on committees, doing church activities, ect. Which is fine, but the point of my blog is Tyler's baptism. I am constantly asked about baptising Tyler and i have always put it off and we are having a family reunion next weekend and i just got asked again to have ty baptised there. I decided it was finally time to make a decision, which i think i made a long time ago. I told them i didn't think that Ty should be baptised because of James' religion, he is Catholic. Even though that is not the full reason it is the majority of it and ties in to my thought process on this. I know that during the baptism as a parent you have to agree to be a good parent and raise the kid they best you can (duh) and then you also have to agree to bring them up in the church with the church beliefs. Some people say that that is not what being baptized means, but they have you agree to it, so that is what it means. I do not want to be the parent who says, "hey we are united methodists in this family, so that is what we are teaching you, that is what you will believe." Especially with his dads side of the family being catholic, even though the two religions came from the same idea they are way different. It would be so wrong of me to have him baptized and stand up there and say that i will raise him to be a christian if i don't plan on doing that. When he gets older i actually plan on doing opposite of that, we are going to make sure ty has knowledge about all of the different religions, and let him go to mass, synagogues, temples, etc. Religion is such an important part of who you are and he needs to figure it out by himself and decide what is right for him.
2 comments:
I'm really struggling with the whole baptism thing too. Part of me wants to do it because...well, it's just what you do. The other part of me wants my kids to decide for themselves, and if they do get baptized I want them to remember it and I want it to be an important decision that THEY make. Not me.
I can commit to raising them Christian (or not) w/o getting up in front of the congregation and saying so out-loud.
I hear you on the whole pressure thing...esp since Chris is going to be a Methodist Pastor...it's a big deal in the Methodist church.
I was baptized when I was 15 and it was a defining point in my life. I don't want to take that from my kiddos.
Good blog BEth!
In our church, we had dedications instead of baptisms when children were young. I agree that baptism is a personal sign of one's commitment to God and should be done when they are ready.
Dedications were a ceremony not just for the parents and child, but for the whole church community. The parent(s) agreed to raise the child "as a Christian" (by word and example) and the church got to witness that and pray for them.
It drew our church family closer together and reminded everyone of the importance of praying for each other and being a good example by living a godly life.
My name's Rosie. Nice to meet you. :^)
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