another bad day...when will they go away??

today is also a bad day. i am having bad days a lot recently. . . Ty is home from the hospital and that is wonderful. Everything went really well but exactly opposite of what i thought. He was fine going in to the surgery but when he was out he wouldn't drink anything! we had to stay longer because of that, but as soon as he heard that he could leave after he started drinking he got to it. I am more exhausted then i can ever remember. I am up with ty about every couple of hours to give him medicine, or a drink or just to make sure he is breathing ok. I haven't slept more then like 4 hours at a time in the last 3 days and it sucks.

(kind of graphic stuff below)
When ty got out of surgery on our way to see him in recovery, there were like 6 doctors around his bed, (usually there is only one nurse) let me tell you my heart stopped, and i stopped. I didn't want to go by the bed, i didn't know what was happening or why they were surrounding him, doctors don't just stand around. So after i realized that thinks might be ok i kept went towards the bed and saw that he was alive at least. But the doctors said he was having some trouble breathing, which again freaked me out, i felt like i shouldn't be there for some reason and i just wanted to back off until they made sure he was ok. in surgery they pierced ty's tongue with a string and tied the string through his tongue so if his tongue blocked his airway they could pull the string and make his tongue stick out so he could breathe...it was really sad, i was not expecting that. He also had blood running out the side of his mouth...it's kind of expected since he just had surgery in his throat but as a parent it was really disturbing. That is when i lost it, i was just like a big baby crying everywhere. I get really embarrassed when i do that, James was with me and i just felt like a looser.

So, it was also jakey's b-day, what a sucky day. He just hung out at the hospital all day and i kind of ignored him because i was more focused on ty. And at the end of the day he had to go home and i stayed with ty. We've only spent one other night separated since we moved in together over 2 years ago so it sucked. He tested me at 2:30 in the am to tell me that he has pink eye...Ughhh! So he stayed home from work the next day but couldn't come to the hospital either because of the pink eye, he then discovered that he was also sick, he had a fever and stuff. So that sucked too! When we got released from the hospital we couldn't go home because ty cannot get sick, so we spent the night at James' mom's house away from Jake, again. I feel so bad for him, i cant explain, but it's what's best for ty unfortunately. He feels better today so we will probably go home, but jake might sleep on the couch.

Ty is doing a lot better this morning, his little voice sounds different and that is kind of sad but it is all for the better. He breathes funny because he kind of has to learn how to re-breathe, so it is a little scary but everything is good so far.