the economy sucks balls

So ty and i had an amazing day today, we went to this awesome place in chandler that is an indoor play area, that he loves and we spent 4 hours there having fun. And ty was happy all day and we had a really good time. I came home tonight, put ty to bed and read all of the crap mail that we get and one was from his doctor place that he goes to. As everyone knows, ty was born with a cleft lip and pallate. When ty was born the nice nurses gave me all of this really helpful information about welfare and every state program that i could possibly use, (which i obviously needed at the time). one of the things they gave me was a brochure for a place called CRS which St. Joseph's hospital is a part of and it's also a state funded program. If your child has a birth defect you can take them here and they will help the child until they are 21 with the birth defect related issues. And i think like 80% of the people got everything for free (surgeries and everything). It may sound like just a doctors office with specialists, but this place has every type of doctor in one building and they all work together on the patients, with one file and they talk to each other and stuff. They are really good doctors too, they all have regular offices somewhere else and come in to CRS a couple times a month. Ty's cleft effects him in so many ways that these are all of the following people he sees there:

1. plastic surgeon

2. ENT

3. Speech Therapist

4. Dentist

5. Orthodontist

6. regular pediatrician

7. Genealogy councilor (for parents and for him when he's older)

all of these people work with his cleft and all of them are fantastic. About 6 months ago we got a letter saying that Az. was cutting the budget a bit and that we would start having to pay co-pays just like a normal doctor. Which is fine, i don't like the place because it's free, i would probably pay more then a regular doc. visit because of how awesome it is. (btw, not everyone has to pay co-pays, just the "rich" people...yeah i qualify as rich...dumb) So we had a couple doctors appointments, paid co-pays and then some, and today i get a letter saying that State funding has completely been suspended for CRS and we will be dis-enrolled as of 12/1/09. But people who still qualify for welfare can still go, for completely free. Now i don't care about the people who are on welfare, they obviously need it, just like i did before, but i was paying anyways why am i now not allowed to go?? Ty still needs to have so much work done and i am so upset that i have to go get different doctors, and that all of the stuff wont be coordinated. We will probably still go to his ENT but it is literally impossible to go to his plastic surgeon because he doesn't accept private insurance. I feel like we have to start all over again and it's sad that the state are cutting the wrong things. I know they cut daycare funding, foster care funding, health care, and my mom who works for the state took a big pay-cut too. Those are all really important things and i feel like they are being stupid.

I guess i just feel like we had a plan to take care of everything until he was 21 and now we dont have that option and i am kind of scared to take him anywhere else, i just want everything to be fixed for him.

picture time

This weekend was full of pictures, just the way i like it. On friday i went to see 2 cast memebers from New Moon and it was freaking sweet. I went by myself because tickets were $75 and jake had work. I got a picture with both of them (but i wont have it until friday) and then they did a question and answer session which was super fun.

<--- this is charlie bewley he plays Demetri and he is super cute!!

This is daniel cudmore ---------->

he plays Felix and he is really really big. (he was also in the X-men movies)

Then on saturday we went to my sister's last state marching band festival, they did pretty good.

Then on sunday i did some pictures for my sister for senior pictures. that was so much fun! She is so photogenic, i hate her!

So we should move in to our new house next weeek which will be amazing. i cannot wait. Other then that nothing is new.

happy happy happy!!!!!!!!

So the offer on the second house was out bid by someone so oh well, i dont really care because we finally have a house!!! and let me tell you the story behind it.

So when ty was a baby and he wouldnt go to sleep i would drive him around in the car with classical music to get him to go to sleep, (side note: some parents are against that but i dont see why) and it would always get him to fall asleep. When Jake and i started dating he would come with me and we got in this habit of going around looking at all of the for sale houses and then taking the flyers and guessing how much they were selling for. It was a fun game. On our drives we came across these new condos that were being built all over the place by the same builder and i loved them!!! we went to every one and went through the model homes and i have always always wanted to live in one. when we decided to move out of our apartment a couple years ago, they were selling the last of the condos and had a huge "sale" on them, so i asked how much a 3 bedroom was and it was like 255k which is more then we could afford, obviously. so that was out, but for the last 2 years whenever i pass one i always see if they are renting some out and nobody has. So when i was about to give up on the house search one of those condos popped up on our list with 4 bedrooms (2 master bedrooms and 2 kid) 3 baths and below our price!!! holy cow i flipped out! i called the realtor, James, and Jake and we went to look at the condo. I told them that i wasnt going to get excited about the house because i knew we wouldnt get it, they normally were way more expensive, it is a super new house and there is no way we wouldnt get out bid. So we went for fun. Well then we made an offer for fun. And they freaking accepted our offer!!!!!!!! And the FHA doesnt have to do an inspection because it was built in 2005 so everything is good with it. So we have no problems there. Well really we have no problems at all we are just waiting for all of the paperwork. I am so excited!! I have always wanted to live in one of these and it's perfect, beyond perfect. James has a master bedroom on his own floor and we have one on our own floor, it has room for everyone, enough room for all of the toys we have. It's just perfect! I cannot believe that with all of the crap we have been through (we've been looking since April!), we end up with my dream condo. The boys are a little upset that it doesnt have a yard, but it has a pool that we dont have to take care of! Here's a picture, its not an actual picture of the one we are moving into but it looks just the same, it the 3 story one.

on another note...Ty has been having a lot of accidents lately and it is getting really annoying. He keeps getting distracted and just waits until the last second and then runs to the bathroom but doesnt make it. I dont understand what's going on with that.

Jake has needed a new phone for like 2 years and we finally went to the store and Verizon was having a deal where you can buy one get one free on Blackberry Storms and so we both got one!! i love it! Having the internet on my phone with a huge screen is awesome! and i downloaded the Twilight Saga on my phone so i can read it wherever i want.

im going crazy!

so the FHA did an inspection on the house we've been waiting to close on for the last 6 months and they said that it needed 17,500 bucks worth of stuff to fix before we could buy it. So we could either have the bank fix it or we could move in and have like 30 days before they came back to check and make sure we did it. Well we were already planning on doing most of it anyways, but some of it we needed the bank to do and they said no. So we are not getting that house and the bank put it back up on the market as a cash only buy. Which in my opinion is super super dumb on their part. but oh well. So we have been house hunting and put a bid on a really cute house on thursday and hopefully we will get that one. there wont be any problems with it and it will close fast but they still have to accept our offer first. If they dont accept it then jake and i are going to get an apartment until we get a freaking house because there is nothing that is worth staying here longer. I want to cry every night. But i haven't yet because at least i know that i chose this and i can leave if i want, we arent stuck here and we'll be out of here next month no matter what.

And on Wednesday James is taking ty to Philly for his family vacation. His whole family is going, it's like a family reunion and he'll be gone for 5 days. I am going to be so sad, i hate that he's going on a plane without me, going across the country with me, meeting some of his family for the first time without me, and going to see all of the historical things there without me. I hate being away from him. : ( Tyler assured me though that jake will be here for me and give me whatever i want, and he said he will call me everyday and give me a flower when he comes back... i dont know where he gets this stuff from he is such a suck up.

i guess i blogged to soon...

remember when i wrote that we would be in our house next week!??!?! well, ha yeah right! We got a call that next week that said everything was done and we would be in in 24-48 hours we just needed the title and keys. Well literally 3 hours after they called us the lender got raided by the US Govnt and got shut down for illegal activity. It's not some little company either they own 10% of the market right now. So now we have to start all over again with a new company and so far everything is good. But remember how we moved in to jakes parents house for just a week or two well, now we are stuck here. I seriously want to cry every day. I feel like a failure even though we voluntarily moved out & we could still afford our house but were trying to not end up paying rent and a mortgage in one month. But who's laughing now....(i dont know if that's the right thing to say or not but i am NOT laughing!!!) Jake's parents are nice, his dad is great but his mom has a disability that causes her to stay home most of the time and she is now nocturnal, so we hardly ever see her but when we wake up the house (mostly the kitchen) is a mess. She leaves dishes everywhere, not even in the sink (let alone washing them out or anything), they are just everywhere. And Jake's sister is complete opposite of me and it's really hard. She is older then us and still lives at home, has a bachelor's degree but is working at Payless. When she's not at work she just watches TV or plays video games, nothing productive, ever. And her kitchen habits are worse then her mom's. She will cook a TV dinner then put the whole thing on a plate (not empty it on to a plate, she'll put the container and everything on a plate) then when she's done she will put the whole thing, including the container and the plate that isnt dirty in the sink. I have no clue why she doesnt eat out of the container then throw it away!!!! And i really wouldnt complain but jake and i are the only ones doing dishes so we have to deal with it. Maybe i should be grateful, but really we didnt want to live here for more then 2 weeks, this was not the plan. and then to be constantly cleaning up after everyone it just really really ticks me off, they are worse then Tyler.

And BTW if any of you have seen my car before you must know that i am a very messy person so it takes a lot for me to complain about someone else being messy..

So this new company promised us that we would close by sept. 30th so everyone please pray that it goes through and i dont pull my hair out and keep my mouth shut while we're here.

why is life so crazy?!?!?!?

so i got a job at a photography studio, which is awesome. I only work like 4 hours a day so i get to stay home with ty most of the day then when i go to work i drop off ty with James & his family so we dont have to pay for freaking daycare! I dont think I'm going to learn too much from my job but at least i can learn some poses and get to know what people want to buy before i go off to whatever is next. Our studio is in Baby's R Us and even though i dont work for Baby's R Us i still get a 10% discount! so that is awesome. But working in a store full of baby crap is making my uterus go crazy! I think we're going to need a baby pretty soon...

We finally got a call that we can move in to our house next week! finally!!! we were suppose to move in in June, and now it wont be until almost aug. but at least it's almost done. For the last couple weeks we moved in to jake's parents house so that our landlord could get the house ready for the next people who are going to rent the house. It kind of sucks but his parents are in Alaska right now so they aren't here. But at least we didnt have to pay for rent.

Last night the wind blew over part of our fence and our dog ran away. We cant find her but we're not giving up yet. Ty is really sad but he said if we cant find her we can just get another dog but it has to be a boy this time and we can't yell at him so he doesnt run away like maddy.

Anyway, everything is wonderful right now, i think we found the perfect balance so that i can spend more time with ty but yet still have a job and have it be something i like doing. And ty likes it too!

long time no blog...

yo!

1. i am not longer working, long story but it is wonderful! I've always wanted to stay home with ty and i wanted to do it before he went to school which will be next year (!!!) so had to do it soon. Obviously it is hard, but way worth it. I cannot stand having someone else raise my kid no matter how much money i made, it's just not worth it. Ty says he likes it better too.

2: we are still closing on the house, i've never bought one before but i bet they are usually not this difficult. We are completely re-doing the kitchen and getting all new carpet through the mortgage so everyone is taking forever with the paperwork for that. lame. But hopefully it will be soon that we get to move, everyone is ready. here is a picture. The picture is very deceiving, the house is actually 2300 sq feet so it's big, but it goes back instead of out, if that makes sense. I'll take better pictures once it's all done and pretty.

3. I'm taking this time with ty to pack and spend time with him obviously but also to work on my photography hobby, which is super fun. I am a part of several groups online that critique your photos and tell you what you can do better, they also have contests every day and every week and i am winning a ton of them, i would say about 75% of the ones i enter i win, by a lot too. So that is very encouraging. I'm also going to take a couple classes either this summer or in the Fall at PVCC, which will also be good.

4. I cannot wait for New Moon to come out, i feel like since they finished filming there has been no news about The Twilight Saga at all and it's driving me nuts! I need something new to happen ASAP!

The past several days have been insane for me. It's been non-stop craziness. We all found a house that we like, it needs a completely new kitchen and new carpet, but we can do that. It has 5 bedrooms plus another one that was used for a bedroom but is a bit small, so we would use it as a toy room. It's 2300 square feet and has a nice back yard with lots of room for the kids to play. We are making an offer on it right now, so we'll see what happens. On Saturday i went to take pics for my sisters prom. I have to say that a lot of them turned out really good. I think I'm getting the hang of making my black and white pictures not so grey, it's hard. You can see them here... www.flickr.com/photos/30044222@N05/sets/72157617404283228/
and my mom made my sisters dress, it turned out amazing! i cant believe it looked that good, i know my mom is a good seamstress but wasn't expecting it to look store bought.

so remember the short blog in which i wrote that we had a new receptionist and that people were saying that they hoped it wasn't a problem because she was black. Then i went on to say that it was completely ridiculous that people thought that way. do you remember? probably not. but i did. Well that little (insert whatever really really bad word you want here) straight up lied to my boss and got me in trouble. On top of the completely fabricated story she told my boss she also told them that she overheard me saying racist comments to someone else about her. While i was sitting there getting in trouble for absolutely nothing i was speechless because i had no clue where this was coming from. I don't know if Ive ever said anything remotely close to racist in my life. So whatever. I have come to notice that she is the type of person that plays the race card. She has made several comments to numerous people about race and i have also heard her say "anti-white" (whatever that is called) remarks to people too. My boss who hates me didn't even listen to me when i was trying to tell him that everything she said was a lie. He said, "we believe her because she has nothing against you." Well she obviously has something against me if she made up a story, called me a racist, then got me in trouble.

I think i am going to stop this insanity before i get too upset. I hope everyone has a good week!

babies babies all over

this weekend was fun but short. We were looking at houses every spare second we had. lame. On Saturday night we watched Piper, my friends baby while she went on a date.

And on Thursday i went to visit Lucia and her baby who doesnt have a name yet but i'm going to call him Jude because i think that's what they are going to decide on. He is soooo cute!

All these freaking babies make me want one so bad!

So this morning i woke up super super early because the news said that they shut down filming of New Moon (the 2nd twilight movie) because the author of the books are being sued for stealing the idea from her college roommate. I flipped out and looked on-line and some sites said that it was true!! but they didn't get their facts straight because they are still filming. now i am up early and it sucks.

first let me say that Tyler decided to tell my mom and dad that mommy, daddy, Jake and mike were all going to live with him while we were in a room of crowded people. It was pretty awesome. So I explained to my dad what we were thinking about doing and he said, “that’s weird, ok.” End of discussion. That is what I like about my parents usually. I can never go to them for advise because they think that I am an adult and can make my own decisions, but the bad thing is that if I mess up they probably wont help out. They pretty much keep their mouths shut about everything and let me do what I want. I tell them enough so that they can tell that I’ve looked in to what I am doing then let me do it. I don’t know if that makes sense but I kind of like it and hate it.

So we are really looking at Anthem, (if you even start to say that it’s too far I will punch you in the face, it’s not far). We are looking at foreclosures and short sales only. The weird thing about Anthem vs. Phoenix is everything goes fast in Anthem and the houses in Phx are staying on the market forever!! They are expanding the roads on the 17 and making it more accessible so more people are wanting to move up there. I have always wanted to live there and I think I have convinced James and Jake too. The houses are gorgeous and it is beyond the best community to raise kids in all of AZ if you ask me. They have playgrounds on every corner, and just tons of kid oriented things to do. I love it! So we looked at two houses yesterday. They were both good, but I don’t think we have a chance at getting them because they have multiple bidders already. Our realtor said that since they are going fast in anthem as soon as one hits the market we need to go see it the same day then place a bid the next if we have any chance of getting it. So we shall see. I’m really excited and so is everybody else. Last night when we were going through them we were making sure that we would all have our own space, make sure that we knew whose room would be whose before we decide if we want to act on them. It’s a little complicated since we have kind of separate families, we want to make sure that just James and the boys could have their own space if they needed their family time and same with Jake and I. I guess what I’m trying to say is that we need a very specific house, so we have to make sure it works for us.

Other then that nothing really is going on. We had a good but tiring Easter, I love having an extended family to hang out with but on holidays it sucks! I don’t like going to 3 family dinners, I cant eat that much and ty gets cranky. But I guess over all it’s worth it.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately how all parents are different. For example, when Jake is making a big decision he tells his parents and they support him no matter what it is, but they also give him advice on how to get to his goal. When James is making a big decision he tells him parents and they go through every possible scenario of what would happen and talk about it all the time. And if his mom doesn’t like the idea she will try to convince him not to do it no matter what. When I tell my parents about something I have to know every single freaking detail before I tell them. I need to tell them who, what, when, where, why and how before they will approve or even listen. It’s kind of weird but it’s the way I’ve always been raised.

So the reason why I bring this up is because James, Michael, Tyler, Jake and I are all buying a house together. I know it’s kind of weird to most people but it is going to be super super good.

Reasons why it’s good for James:
James needs a lot of help right now trying to figure out how to live life and have relationships with people and really needs to learn how to put his kids first (which is hard to understand when you are 21 and naturally selfish). So we are hoping that Jake and I can be role models for him in those ways. James is really uptight and stressed all the time, he thinks about things too much and Jake and I are very relaxed so hopefully James can relax more.

Reasons why it’s good for Jake and I:
With the relaxed thing, sometime we are too relaxed when we should worry about things more, so hopefully James will rub off on us too. We want to make an investment in the house. We are buying a house that is going to be relatively cheap while the market sucks right now, then when we’re ready we are going to sell it and split the profits and buy our own separate houses (Jake and I then James will buy his own.) And if we don’t make very much money off of the house we still are going to save a crap load every month by splitting bills and we are going to save all of that for a down payment of our own. We have been talking about buying a house our self but in this economy that can ruin your life if you lost a job or something happened, and with Tyler I really don’t want to take that risk and either does James. I know it will be weird because we just got married but this is a plan for the future, we’re setting up financially for our future.

Reasons why it’s good for the boys:
Mike and Ty are completely different kids, I think it will be good for them to balance each other out. They love spending time together so sharing a room will be no problem. And Mike has some behavioral problems, he has a good heart but has some problems that need to be worked on. So I think it will be good for him to see how ty behaves all the time. (not saying that ty is an angel or mike is bad, just that they can learn from each other). Ty has been confused for several years because James and my parenting styles are completely different, which makes it hard on him and confused on what he can and cannot do. So that will be good for him.

Reasons why it could be bad:
We’re buying a house, not renting, this is an investment and we’re pretty much stuck together if we want this to work. But the good thing is that if it really doesn’t work and we want to give up one family could just move out. (since we’re buying a house cheap enough). It could potentially ruin our friendship. I don’t think it will but what if it does? Other then that we have really put enough thought in to this where we wont be screwed.



So we got approved for a mortgage yesterday and with all of the 1st time home buyer incentives from the govnt. we are getting a really good deal. So we are buying a house that only two of us can afford if someone lost their job and that way it will be cheap and we can all save our money to buy our own houses in a couple of years. Ideally we want a 4 bedroom house so the boys can share a room (they want to) and we can have one for a baby (!) and we want one room separated from the others so that James can have his own space if he needs it. We are going to test this out before we sign on the dotted line though, James and Mike are going to move in to our current house for a couple of months while we look for houses to make sure we can live together. But all of us, the boys, our friends, and James and Jake’s parents feel really good about it. I haven’t told my parents yet because of the reasons above. But now that we have things in place, we got approved and have a plan, I think we will tell them this weekend.

karate

my baby is growing up. he had his first performance of any type yesterday. He does karate at his school and he had a recital to show what they've learned. They dressed them up in little karate outfits, it was the cutest thing ever! Since ty is so little they put him in the front row so we could see him perfectly the whole time. he was so cute, he looked so proud up there showing everyone what he could do. When we decided to get my fancy shmancy camera i told jake that i wouldnt need a certain type of lens until ty was really in sports or concerts but i really needed one yesterday, my pics sucked!!!

This week has been weird so far, both Jake and Ty have been sick so far this week with what seems like different things but who knows. Last night I learned that I am in the running to win a photo contest that I entered. The people who run the group picked the top 4 and then I clicked to vote for myself and saw that I was winning!!! I don’t even think it was one of my best pictures, (if you look below it’s the one with just Ty and the kite) the theme was spring and I guess I was picked because everyone else had pictures of flowers and mine was different. . . Anyways, I am super excited that I was picked I mean there are a lot of professionals who enter these contests, it makes me happy. : )

I’ve also been going crazy lately about having another baby. I mean Ty is going to be 5 this year and that is like the maximum age I would want siblings to be apart. It’s too weird to have a younger or older sibling who is 10 years apart from you; you have nothing in common with them. And I learned a lot of ‘tricks’ with Ty that I don’t want to be out-dated or forget by the time we have another one. I don’t want Ty to be in college and then start taking the other one to kindergarten, it’s not the way I want it. They need to be all out of the house within the same time. I want to be able to take both of my kids to events that they will both enjoy, not drag a 15 year old to a Barney concert for his sibling. All I can think about lately is baby things and it freaking is driving me nuts!!!


I’m friends with this girl on MySpace, you know I’m not really friends with her but she was in band, you know how that goes. Anyways she has 2 babies, both under 2 years old she is 19 and is currently getting a divorce. Wow, I mean, just wow. I don’t know what my point is but I just wanted to mention that.

I was watching the news this morning, There was this trailer that caught on fire and was just completely gone this guy had a ton of junk in his yard and house all over that just burned up. Well apparently the Sheriffs office told this guy this morning that his 15 year old daughter started the fire because she wanted to die. Guess what this ‘dad’ said to that?!!?!? He said, “I should have let her burn, I made a big mistake.” WTF!?!?!?!!?!? What kind of dad thinks things like that? This is obviously why his daughter is suicidal, what a dick.

kite flying

Here's some pics from kite flying...i have like 50 million more but you know what flying a kite looks like...We had mucho fun!

being married really is better!

So initially I never saw what the big deal was about getting married, I’ve always felt that you could live together as a couple for 10 years and it would be just the same as being married. Especially with jake and I, we have lived together for almost 3 years and have had shared a bank account for 2 years. We’ve been making so many decisions together that some other people might not have before they got married for a long time now so I felt that when we got married everything would be the same except for my last name and a couple rings. But this is so not true. When people said that marriage is when 2 become 1 I thought it was just a silly thing, but I really feel that jake and I are united as one forever. Even though we live in the same house, have all the same bills, go to the same job, and do the same thing everyday, it’s all 5 million times better when you have a husband to go home to and to know that no matter what he’ll be with you in anything that might happen. And even if he doesnt want to he has to because he signed the contract (*insert evil laugh here*)

sometimes i'm a snob. . .

So last night my family and I went to see Rent, I’ve now seen it 3 times (including once in NYC) and it has always been one of my top 3 favorite Broadway plays so of course I loved it but it could have been better. The two main guys were the originals from the 90’s so of course they were perfect, I would have thought that since they’ve been doing this role on and off for 10 years they would become bored with it but Anthony Rapp (who plays Mark) had so much passion for his role and the music still, you could see it that when he was singing he was all caught up in the moment still. I think he feels the same way I do about the songs, I’ve loved that soundtrack since the beginning of high school and have every song memorized but it never gets old, it’s not like Brittany Spears where you hear “oopps I did it again” and you want to rip your hair out because it’s too overplayed. This is different, the music just makes your hair stand up and makes you want to sing with passion along with everyone else, just beautiful. But this is not what I wanted to write about… I wanted to take this moment and show one of my snobbish sides. My entire family loves Broadway shows, it’s definitely something that’s talked about on holidays and everyone on my mom’s side of the family have season tickets to ‘off Broadway’ at Gammage in ASU and have had them for years. One of the happiest days of my life was when my parents decided to get a third season ticket so I could go to all the shows (it meant I was old enough). So being to over 50 shows at Gammage and 2 in NYC I must write about Broadway behavior and etiquette. Here is a link showing all of the etiquette: http://www.wikihow.com/Practise-Proper-Etiquette-for-a-Broadway-Show I agree with all of it. The main things it states is that you need to:
- Dress up. Broadway used to be a very fancy thing that only rich people used to go to, they dressed up for it because it was a special occasion and it shows respect for the actors who worked so hard. Last night I don’t know how many pairs of shorts, jeans, and t-shirts I saw. The only reason why it would be ok to wear jeans is if it was a contemporary, high energized, younger generation show, and only if you are wearing dressy pants, nice shoes, and a super nice shirt. (Rent would fall into the ‘ok to wear jeans’ show, but the people were not wearing nice tops!)
- This is not a rock concert, don’t yell! When Adam Pascal and Anthony Rapp came on stage people were screaming and hollering! This is sooo not appropriate! It’s definitely appropriate to clap when a famous person makes their first appearance but no yelling, it’s not Aerosmith.
- Only clap when appropriate. What I’ve learned in going to so many shows is that its only appropriate to clap, at the beginning, when a famous actor comes on, when a really good song is over (the best 1 or 2 songs of the whole show), a completely soloed song, at intermission, and at the end of the show. The people at last nights shows clapped at the end of every song and sometimes in the middle of songs! The actors are not used to that because it’s not what you are suppose to do so there is not a scheduled pause so they keep going and you miss some things over the clapping.

I noticed that a lot of people were there because of the movie which is awesome, if a movie got you interested in Broadway then that’s cool. I hope that those people had a good time and realized that Broadway is not some boring show, and that it can be really upbeat and fun. They have shows about anything you can imagine, there is really something out there for everyone. One of my favorite Broadway songs is about prostitutes looking for someone to screw, not all of the shows are plain boring crap, most of them are super interesting.


Other then that I went goofy golfing and to chucky cheese with Ty, Mike, and James on Saturday. Jakey was sick so he didn’t come. : ( then I went to Lucia’s baby shower, it was kind of sad, nobody showed up, there were 3 girls, the host, and Lucia’s mom. But hopefully she got enough stuff to get her started. Then on Sunday we went to the park with James, Mike and Ty again and flew a kite! Everyone had the best time! I got the cutes pic of Jake and James helping ty fly the kite, I’m going to put it in his room. We were there for a good 2 hours just having a blast.

wow, work is really boring

It’s a little boring at work today and I feel like I’m back in the ‘real world’ now so I want to write about the wedding so I can come back and read it someday.

Wednesday was my first day off of work and I was going crazy running all over town getting last minute stuff done. Then Thursday I packed up all of our stuff for the weekend, wedding and honeymoon then went to the clarendon hotel (www.theclarendon.net) (awesome hotel!) And we had my bachelorette party, it was super fun, just what I wanted. Very mellow, not crazy, good time with my closest friends (and sisters). We had macayo’s delivered and then went to melting pot (yummm!). Then on Friday we got our nails done and it took forever but was good bonding time. The whole day I felt sick to my stomach, I even went to the bathroom because I thought I was going to puke several times. So I started freaking out a bit, in everything I read it said that it’s good to be nervous but if you feel physically sick then you should listen to your body and re-think what you are doing (getting married). So my mind was out of it all day and I was worrying like crazy. But then it hit me, I had a vitamin this morning on an empty stomach then had a huge starbucks, probably why my stomach hurt. Then I had some food and instantly felt better. Oh man, I cant tell you how relieved I was, I knew I wasn’t making a mistake, but it kind of freaked me out a bit and I think it was for the better. After we did our nails we rested for a bit and then went to the rehearsal, it was good and fun, started to feel real then, then I started getting nervous (real nervous not sickness). After we went to dinner at Roy’s and it was flipping amazing!! I loved loved it. They printed custom menus with our names on it and everyone had fun bonding with each other. Jakey gave a speech and it just made my heart melt, he is such a cutie! After that I think I just felt like all was right in the world and everything was perfect, I had no more nervousness or anything.

On wedding day I woke up and felt like it was a normal day with lots of stuff to do. So I took a long shower, packed up and headed to the hotel. My sister spent the night with me on Friday and even though we didn’t have much time to chat I really appreciated her being there, so I wasn’t alone. We got to the hotel and everything was slow but fast. The hair lady was super nice, then we started to separate all of the ribbon and put together the candy ‘bar’. I was really super calm all day, anytime I started to get nervous I picked up my camera and played some music (the best things in the world). We all got ready, took pictures then went down for the ceremony. I was fine, talking with ty and my dad when all of the bridesmaids and groomsmen were walking down the isle but then when it was my turn and I hit the stars, saw jakey I turned in to a mush (as I’m sure everyone saw). I couldn’t comprehend anything I only really saw 3 people in the seats everything else was just about trying to see jake through my tears and making sure ty was beside me. Everything else was a blur, I remember not being able to hold jake’s hand, which is all I wanted to do, I hadn’t seen him in almost 24 hours and it was for obvious reasons an emotional 24 hours. He is my support system and I think it’s dumb that I couldn’t see him through out that time. What I do remember is the sand ceremony and the vows which were both perfect, the sand ceremony was important to me because I have ty, and I wanted him to be a part of the ceremony and have something symbolic stating that we are 2 and 1 becoming 3 together. Then the vows which turned out perfect, we didn’t show them to each other before so I was kind of worried they would be too different since we used the same concept but it worked well! I’m going to frame them in our house with a wedding picture. When it was all official and we kissed Jake dipped me, he did this in the rehearsal and I told him it was cute but not to do it in the ceremony because I could fall in my dress, but apparently he didn’t listen because he did it anyways. I was told later that he wanted to do that because it’s what his dad did when he got married, so that was cute but way unexpected! The reception was good and fun, nothing really bad to say about that. Everyone was gone by 10:30 which I thought was super early but when I thought about it I’ve never stayed at a wedding past 10 so I guess that’s normal.

Our honeymoon was great, we didn’t do a ton of stuff which is what I originally wanted to do, but after everything we just wanted to relax and be together so we did. We had mucho fun but mostly just relaxed. We went on a cruise to mexico and went to 3 cities and all 3 were unique and completely different. I told jake that I wanted to accomplish 3 things on the cruise at the cities, 1. Shop 2. Relax 3. do something adventurous
So in the first port Puerto Vallarta we went shopping the first ½ of the day and then went horseback riding at night so that just left relaxing. In the second city Mazatlan we decided at the last minute to take a trolley tour of the city, it was 5 hours but we are so glad we did it! We learned a lot of stuff and it took us to the most beautiful views and things to do. It was one of my favorite things we did. Then the third city was Cabo San Lucas (!!!!) we got a taxi to take us to the most beautiful beach I’ve ever seen in my life. The sand and water were amazing and there was hardly anybody there. They had little straw huts lined up and we just had so much fun, jake played in the water like a little kid (in a cute way) and I took a ton of pics and then we just relaxed, we almost fell asleep. It was so beautiful. So that was our relaxing day.

On the cruise we were lucky enough to get our own table at dinner but the people next to us were in there late 30’s early 40’s and were constantly complementing us on how ‘refreshing’ it was to see a couple who genuinely loved each other as much as we did. They kept saying how they could just tell that we belonged together. The last night one of the guys asked how old we were and we told him, of course he was surprised at how young we were but then he asked whose house we were moving in to and we explained that we already lived together and he seriously almost flipped out. Apparently he is ‘old fashioned’ his wife said, then they said ½ jokingly that their opinion changed of us because we live together already. I don’t get it. How did we change his opinion about how we love each other just because we live together? Oh well, they were really nice.

I am super happy how everything went and also super happy that i married jake, he is the best! : )

alright alright

Here's some honeymoon pics. . .

http://www.flickr.com/photos/30044222@N05/sets/72157615348793767/

holy smokes I'm married!!!

I was going to write this super long blog about all of the wedding festivities, but really there is nothing much to talk about, everything went perfectly i think.

Our honeymoon was great too. ; )

The end.

It's 1am and jake is passed out on the toilet

So first let me say that jake's friends that he's had for years and years are all slackers, they all live with their parents, and all they do on weekends or nights is drink. So they have no money from spending it all on partying. So they were all making excuses about throwing him a bachelor party, then James stepped up and planned one for him, i think all of his friends came but right now i'm not sure. Jake lasted about 2 1/2 hours before they brought him home. He is horribly wasted. I feel so bad for him. He never ever drinks and he drank a lot. Jake has always had this thing about trying to impress his friends, he is always trying to be 'cooler' around them which is why he drank so much. Sometimes i dont understand that huge difference between us. He always tries to impress his friends, pretty much every bad thing he has done in his life was because of his friends. Sometimes i wish that he would see that he is an adult and can say no, or enough is enough. As much as i love him and know that i'm suppose to take care of him when he's like this. I can't help but be kind of mad hat him. He should be responsible enough not to end up sleeping on the toilet at the end of the night. Oh well.

We're getting married this week! Crazy! At least i know i will have a husband who never gets this drunk again.

Thank God the economy sucks!

We have gotten so many unexpected RSVP's as a 'no' because of the economy. closer family members who live a little bit away who we completely expected to come, and who want to come cant because they've lost their jobs or cant afford to come out. Dont get me wrong, i feel really bad for them, and wish they could come but it looks like we will have a lot less people then we expected and it makes me so happy, because we had a lot more people to invite then we initially thought.

Right now I am mad, no I am f*ing pissed off. Just now, this guy who is a contractor for our company and probably comes in our office for 2 hrs a month and sits far away and doesn’t even talk to anybody just called me immature and laughed at me twice. This guy doesn’t even know me and while I was having a conversation with someone else he butted his head in and laughed then called me immature, then laughed again. Big huge WTF?!?!?!!? This guy is in his 40’s, what is he doing interrupting me and calling me names like he knows me?????

Maybe this is immature writing about him like this, I should probably forget about it and move on, but seriously what an ass hole.


***side note, i'm getting married next week!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!! : ) : ) : )

smoking

Smoking is one of my biggest pet peeves for the following reasons:

1: it smells really really gross
2: it cuts away from other things, such as work, family time, or just socializing.
3: people who do it keep saying that it’s so hard to quit.

#3 is the topic for today. This is something I found from a website, which I agree with.


Smoking cigarettes is an addiction. It is a physical addiction no different from heroin, alcohol, or any other addiction that a person might have. Just like alcoholic, you need your cigarette to deal with stress. Just like a heroin addict, you are unconcerned about the brutal affects on your health or the money you're spending. If you smoke cigarettes, you're an addict just like the rest of them. You are an addict that has to schedule their life around their next cigarette. You are an addict that has to rush outside every few hours. You are an addict that automatically lights a cigarette after buckling their seatbelt.


Everybody has an addiction at some point in there life, addiction is a chemical in your brain, and it doesn’t matter what you are addicted to, it has the same reaction in your brain. Some addictions have physical effects to, like if you were coming off of heroin, but for the most part addictions are all the same. People are addicted to video games, porn, shoplifting, cigarettes, food, etc. People break addictions everyday and it is just a matter of will power. If you don’t want to quit, no matter what it is, then you don’t. One thing that especially makes me mad (you know who you are) is when people say that I don’t know what it’s like to quit smoking. Like it’s some type of excuse. Of course it’s hard, but people do it everyday. An addiction is an addiction. Period.


PS. ‘Bob’ I still love you, even though you smoke. I just wish you would quit so we could make-out more. ; )

I've been so busy lately i havent gotten the chance to take some pics of ty with my new camera. So yesterday we went to the park and did some. He's such a cutie!

Have you ever had moments in your life, where you know what you want to do with the future and feel like that’s where you belong? They don’t happen very often, most people spend life wondering where they should go, and what they should do. But I know in my heart that within the next year to year and a half I need to:

- have a baby
- quit my job
- stay at home w/kids
- get a part time job

I feel like it’s really what I am supposed to be doing. I am not the stay at home mom type, who can stay home watch the kids, cook, clean but nobody can take better care of my kids and I feel like I’m missing out on so much. At the same time though I am a girl who needs to work, but I just don’t want to waste my time away sitting in a cubical. So the ultimate plan is to stay home with the kids and work a little bit at night. This cant be a sudden move though, it needs to be progressive. So we are going to plan it out, like adults. Luckily since Jake and I both work in call center environments our schedules are pretty flexible, so we can move them to whatever we want.



(Don’t read this if you are a boy and don’t want to know about girly things)
So I went to get my dress altered last night, and have come to find that my boobs have grown. So the dress is too small on the top, but fine everywhere else. Seriously who plans for that to happen? Everyone always tries not to gain weight but seriously how could anyone predict that? Oh well, at least they can take it out. It better fit next week; otherwise I will just have to loose weight so my boobs shrink, and I don’t really have time for that.




On another note, my boss told me that he is not coming to my wedding because he knows that I don’t really want him there. He said, “it was gracious of you but I have to make a smart decision.” I don’t know what to think of this, it kind of makes me laugh. But if I really didn’t want him to come, I wouldn’t have sent him an invitation. I like him as a person, but he is the world’s worst boss. Oh well, that’s less mouth’s I have to feed.

lkanero;haweor

jake and i are getting married in 18 days! what is going on!?!!?!

I have really bad luck with customer service people, like APS, Cox, and especially banks. A lot of people I know think I’m crazy for how much energy I put in to fixing things with companies that work with me, but maybe it’s just because I fight for things and charges that I don’t think are right or are wrong. I think a lot of people just pay whatever people tell them they owe, but not me. Something that is sometimes fun for me is arguing with people that I clearly know more then. 99% of the time I call in to a bank to fight with them they start lecturing about how credit card processing works, like I don’t know, it’s what I do for my job. Of course they don’t know that but it always seems that as soon as I say that credit card processing is my job they say, ‘oh’ and change there tone with me and then stuff gets done. I feel like if I was a regular person they would be screwing me over.

This weekend was crazy and relaxing at the same time. In Friday I had like the worst day ever, I was in a really bad mood, a bad nights sleep, and work sucked! You know, one of those days where you just want to go home, curl up in bed, and go to sleep. Then when I got home I started to feel better, Jake came home and we decided to go get the camera I’ve been waiting to get for a year. I wasn’t going to get it with the crappy lens it came with and get a better lens, but best buy was having a pretty good sale on them so I got the crappy lens, and I am glad I did! (I've decided that i'm not going to put my camera on auto anything until i can get the hang of full manual, i'm not going to get all excited about the camera on auto then try it on manual and suck.)Then we went out to dinner together and came home and jake let me take pictures of him for several hours. Then the next day we did some random wedding things and took more pictures. We went to the park and there was a soccer tournament going on so we watched that for a while, it was cute watching all the little kids playing. Then on Sunday I had my ‘old person’ bridal shower, basically it was all of the old ladies at the church. I hate being the center of attention and opening presents in front of everyone. I think I’ve never liked it. I’m not anti-social or anything but I don’t like everybody looking at me, and watching me. And on top of that I really don’t need all the presents we’ve been getting. We’ve lived by ourselves for almost 3 years now so we have a lot. Most people say that this is a chance to get better stuff to replace our crappy stuff with, and I agree, but I guess I’m not that type of person. I don’t need it and I don’t need other people to buy it for me. But it is what it is. I have to admit that during my embarrassment at the shower I could help but laugh out loud when I thought of all the gossiping going on. It still makes me laugh. Ha. But at the end we got a lot of cool stuff, I think we need to re-organize our kitchen to fit everything.

Today my friend Cyndy is in Disneyland, and it may sound lame but I am super jealous. We haven’t been to Disneyland since Oct. 07 (when Jakey proposed!) I know we went to Disneyworld in the summer, but it’s just not the same. I kind of get homesick if I don’t go every year. People probably think I’m really weird, but it is my all time favorite place to go, ever and I really want to go right now. . . I think we will go this December even though it is 10 months away. Maybe we’ll go sooner... we’ll see.

Here's some cool pics from this weekend...

words cant describe...

you know that place in the morning when you are awake but not up and alert yet? i was in that stage this morning and the news was on, then i heard, "we're here at 28th st. and Greenway where 2 people were shot and died and others possible hurt." I sat straight up in bed glued to the TV in panic, it's James' night with Ty and he lives right there. I was panicing, but yet calm at the same time. All of these thoughts were rushing through my head about weather or not Ty was ok, and of course i couldnt help but to think the worst. The reporter looked like he was standing right outside of James' house, but it was still dark so i couldn't tell. I felt like the reporter took forever to explain the situation, he would not say how old the people were for the longest time. Finally he said that the first guy was like 50 and the other guy was, umm i forget. But they weren't 4 year old boys and a 21 year old. Then the reporter said he was at an apartment complex (James lives in a trailer not an apt.). So i calmed down a little, but i kept thinking of all of these things that could have happened to them so i text my friend, who lives in an apt. complex in the same area and James to make sure everyone was ok (even though i really knew they were) and my friend text back but not James. So i called him, beginning to get freaked out again and he answered and said everyone was fine. So i was glad but then i just started crying. . .the whole thing really shook me up, it was def. something i didnt want to wake up to. It was easily one of the scariest things I've ever experienced in my life.

how did i miss this!!?!?!?!?!??!

So there is a Claire's by my work, nobody is ever there it's in a strip mall so it doesn't get much traffic. I go there probably twice a month to get my glasses and fun chap stick. I havent been since December because of Christmas spending among other things so i didn't want to tempt myself into buying things that i shouldn't. Well i decided to go today because i haven't found the perfect wedding glasses yet, and it was gone!!! omg i was so mad! So i went to bath & body works next door to hit up there sale (!!!) and i asked the lady about Claire's she went on and on about how awesome the sales were, apparently the first week everything was 80% off then after that everything was $0.50!!!!!!! I missed it! everything was $0.50! purses, shoes, glasses! holy gosh!!! AHHHHHH!!!

how do you eat your grapefruit?

i cut mine in half and scoop it out with a spoon. A co-worker of mine peels hers like an orange and eats it like that. Well i am trying to eat my grapefruit and our office ran out of spoons, so i have a fork. It's not working at all. Pretty much a waist of a 1/2 of a grapefruit. . . : (

i just realized that i can now say that i'm getting married next month. . . i think i'm gonna go have a panic attack...

Who cares about terrible twos why did nobody tell me about the ferocious fours?!?!?!?

So apparently most kids go through the terrible two’s stage, everybody heard of it, and usually the child grows out of that stage by 3 or 4 (even though they are called terrible twos, I think they last longer then that). Well Tyler was amazing at that age, in fact it has been by far my favorite age (I know he’s only 4 but oh well) I really wish he could stay about 2 ½ forever! He was an angel. But on his 4th birthday (literally that day) he became extremely difficult to deal with. He has major tantrums, screams and yells hits things etc. If you know Ty, you know that this does not sound like him at all. Remember I wrote about how sucky Christmas was??? Well I thought it was just because he was overwhelmed, but I was wrong, his behavior has continued to be crazy! It’s exactly what I read about with kids in there terrible twos, but worse because he is older, smarter and stronger then a two year old. I started to get really worried that something was wrong, something with him, or me. My mom has witnessed several melt downs and she asked me what was up with him, I told her and she said that I need to ask the doctor to make sure that nothing was physically wrong with him (which is what the internet said) and that it probably isn’t that but just to make sure. Then she said that it might be because of the wedding planning, and that I may not be paying as much attention to Ty as I usually do. This really made me sad, I am really aware how important it is to pay attention to your kid and not just send them to watch TV by themselves or play in there room all the time. So I kind of took that pretty hard. So today we went to the doctor for routine shots (I hate those) and one of the first things that the doctor said was that sometimes around 4 or 5 some kids can kind of regress and be like 2 year olds. I explained everything to her and she said that it was completely normal!! I guess I can be happy about that. My aunt also said that both of my cousins were hard at 4 too, so maybe it’s a genetic thing that determines if you have terrible two or ferocious fours…

on a side note about the wedding...we have gotten several RSVP cards with people on them who we didnt invite, like someone saying "me and my wife are coming but we're also bringing my 40 year old son and his wife even though they werent invited." WTF?!?!?! we are going to probably have way more people then planned.

to duty or not to duty

so i got home today with my mailbox overloaded with RSVP cards...and a jury duty notice. I think that most people would think that this is a bad inconvenient thing, but remember that bucket list i made? Serving on a jury is one of them, i think it would be so incredibly awesome!!! But guess what?!?!?!?! i got summoned for March 2nd! yep, that's 5 days before the wedding, it's on that Monday, and i already took wed-Friday off of work. So as much as i really want to go, i think I'm going to have to request to delay it for another time.

I hate Shakespeare… I think it is the dumbest thing on the planet (besides shoes). I know that he lived a long time ago, but I wish that he would just speak normally, instead of using all of these metaphors and old English words. I just found out that one of my favorite movies, ‘10 things I hate about you’ is based on ‘The Taming of the Shrew’. Weird.


So we sent out our invitations last night, if you don’t get one that means we don’t like you. Jake is relieved because he thinks that this means we get to relax now that they are sent out! HA! Apparently he doesn’t know about the other many of things we have to do, but he will…(insert evil laugh here).We seem to be having a problem with deciding the things that should be the easiest for us. For instance, we cannot flipping decide on our first dance, I think this is because music is such an important part of both of our lives, we cannot find anything perfect that fits us. When we first started dating we had this thing about parking in an empty parking lot at night and dancing in the empty lot to music (it was fun). So one night we decided that we needed to pick a song that was ‘ours.’ We picked ‘At Last’ by Etta James, it is an amazing classic love song and probably one of the top first dance songs. So that has been our song for the last 3 ½ years. But I don’t like it anymore, it doesn’t make sense for us. The first part of the song goes like this,

“At last, my love has come along
My lonely days are over”

That is not us at all, we both dated probably 3-4 people before each other and we are young, so it’s not like we’ve been waiting forever to find love. I don’t know, we just cannot find a song that represents us and who we are as a couple. Then we are having a photography issue. I want to be able to have full access to the pictures to be able to edit them myself, and that is usually not possible. These are two things that we care about a lot so we are having a lot of trouble deciding what to do. We will figure it out though and it will be awesome!

Get off your ass and stop takin my money!!!

My friend “Jane” has 3 kids and an ass hole husband who doesn’t live in the same state as her. (he is at the moment but he has only lived with her for 4 weeks in 2 years so far). So she obviously needs help financially, so she goes to the state and asks for help with daycare, they then tell her that before they do that she needs to file for child support against her husband. She does (but he doesn’t pay) and she gets daycare help. So instead of paying almost $2,000.00 a month for daycare she pays $200. This is great, because she needs to work to support her family, which she takes care of by herself. So tax season rolls around and she claims two of her kids and her husband claims the other one and she then gets his refund because he doesn’t pay child support. I know that she could use this, as long as she doesn’t blow it on shopping, so it’s good. It’s important to know that when you are filing your taxes the govnt. only counts up to $3000 for your daycare refund (you don’t get all of this back, just a %) so “Jane” paid $2400 in daycare bills last year for her 3 kids, I paid almost $8000 for Tyler. “Jane” gets around $700 back from the gvnt and I get $800. So that 5-6 thousand extra bucks that I spent on ty I get $100 extra back. This is very screwy to me. I make about $200 a month “too much” to qualify for daycare, and because of this I have to pay $400.00 a month more then I would if I had help from the state. (although I would pay it all myself anyways).

*note* the next part is about welfare, I have nothing against it, as I was on it for a couple months, but it is about the people who abuse it. This does not apply to you “Jane”.

I have a major problem with people who abuse the welfare system, I think it is especially bad in Arizona because of all of the illegal’s. But just ignoring the illegal thing, there are a ton of lazy people who abuse the system. I think welfare is a great thing if you need it, it saved my life after I had Ty, but I know that nobody can rely on it forever. I don’t like that people go to the DES office and sign up for food stamps, monthly bill help (I forgot what it’s called but the govnt just sends you a check every month), daycare help, and insurance. You can literally go to the doc/hospital whenever you want just because you have a cough and you don’t have to pay a penny for it. Then you can head over to the grocery store and spend 500 bucks for groceries and not having to worry about clipping coupons, because it’s free to you. All the mean time your kids are in daycare (so you don’t have to watch them) because you don’t have to pay for it and the state is sending you a check every month for the 4 hours a week you work at Mc Donald’s. Then tax season rolls around and you only made a couple thousand at your job and you have a bazillion kids so the govnt sends you a check for 4-6 grand. I really think that our state and govnt. needs to do a better job at investigating who we are giving our money to; it really makes me sad to see it wasted on people like this. We need to give it to people who deserve it, like “Jane” who is a single mom of 3 but works 40 hrs a week at a good job.

i just wanted to say that jake finally had a bad dream about our wedding last night. Not that it's good to have bad dreams but at least i know he's thinking about it. He dreamt that he got stoned and went completely goofy then missed all of the important things, then he was sad about it afterwards (in his dream & when he was awake).

At least we're not having bad dreams about not wanting to marry eachother, that would be a bad sign, but that wont happen.

45 days!!! : )

This morning our new receptionist started, I haven’t gotten the chance to really talk to her yet but one of the first things that someone said to me this morning was, “I hope none of the racist people working here have a problem with this.” I was completely taken back by this, I cannot believe that this crap would still be around. To even think that there could be a problem is absurd to me, especially considering the events that happened yesterday. Not that I think things could change over night, but it’s been like 50 years, it is 2009 get over it.

Um, so I am getting married in 47 days. I don’t know where the time went!! It’s been over 15 months since we got engaged and it has gone by so fast. I feel like I have done nothing but plan the wedding in the 15 months. Seriously I feel like I have really not accomplished anything else in life besides that.

Next subject:

I think everyone comes to a point in there life when they realize that life is short and I realized that probably around Ty’s 2nd birthday. (The first birthday he is still a baby, but the 2nd well he is a toddler, running around, speaking well etc.) I remember thinking, what happened? I just had him yesterday?!?!?! When I realized that life is too short and that he’ll be going off to school, getting girl friends, moving out and I knew that I had a short time to spend with him, I mean really, I could die any minute. So I made a promise to spend as much time with him as possible, teach him things and make sure that I raise him the best I can. But I also started to realize (from watching Oprah) that no matter what I want to think, my life is also about me. Even though Ty is the center of my world and he is always first, I have to also make sure my life is great while making his (and Jake’s) amazing. So I came up with a ‘bucket list’ (did anyone see that movie?) a list of things to do before I die. I told someone this and they thought it was kind of morbid, but how are you ever going to accomplish anything you want to do if you don’t know what it is? So I started writing down things and so far it is over 3 pages typed up. But I wrote down every little thing I wanted to do to make sure that I didn’t miss out on anything. And even if I don’t get to do all of it, at least I knew what I wanted to do and tried to do them. I would say that 85% of the things on my list either involve our whole family, or just me and Jake, so it will be fun for everyone. Some of the things on my list:

- Take a photography class
- Teach Ty to read before school
- Go to Disneyland on Christmas
- Be in NYC on new years eve
- Go on the Disney cruise with family
- Make-out under a waterfall : )
- Take a cross country road trip during summer break with family
- Learn a foreign language and go to a country to use it
- Stay in a five star resort
- See at least 10 more Broadway plays in NY
- Throw a surprise party for someone I love

And a lot of other things.

I had the weirdest weekend. I’ll start off with the baby shower, it sucked. Seriously. I don’t know if it was because I was a bad hostess or because the ‘father to be’ is an A$$, but everything sucked. First off nobody knew each other, she invited one person (couple) from every group that she knew. So that was awkward. Second off the father to be decided that he didn’t want to be involved except he would like to get everybody drunk. He went out and bought over $100.00 of alcohol, which in my opinion is completely inappropriate. He didn’t want to sit next to his girlfriend and help her in any way, and he was just a complete pompous the hole time. Nobody wanted to play any games and they just wanted to open the presents and then have a party. I really think the worst part of it was that I had to stay there the whole time. I wanted to leave so bad! And I wanted to punch this guy in the face on my way out. I feel so bad for this girl, why is she with him??? UGH!

(*side note) Speaking of bad couples, James just e-mailed me and told me that him and his gf/fiancé broke up. While I feel for him and what he must be going through after living together and dating for 2 or 3 years I am beyond ecstatic. I seriously wanted to cry because I was so happy. It has to be the best thing he has done in his life in a long time.

Then on Sunday my mom and I worked on invitations all day, just cutting and cutting paper. It was really tiring. I would have rather paid the extra $200.00 to have the invitation place cut them, but oh well.

So my cable got shut off because I completely forgot about it (again), and while I could just pay it I decided to keep it off to see what happened. It has been amazing! Seriously I never realized how much time you lose when you are just watching TV. We usually are movie people and we only watch 3 shows a week religiously, but most of the time we just use the cable for the movie channels and for ordering movies. But it’s been off since like Wednesday and I feel so much closer to my family. It’s not like we watch a lot of TV, Ty usually watches one ½ an hour recorded show a day while I make dinner and then Jake and I watch a movie at night. But having Ty help me with dinner and just talking to Jake at night is way better. So while I’m going to turn it back on tonight because I honestly cannot miss gossip girl (!!!!), I am going to try to keep it off more. It’s a waist of valuable family time.

I keep having weird dreams about the wedding, not like nightmares but just off the wall weird. A couple weeks ago I was telling my friend that I can’t see myself getting married without a tattoo for some reason. So last week I had a dream that Jake and I were getting tattoos done the day of our wedding, and for some reason it was imperative that they were done before we walked down the isle. And he wanted a full sleeve intricate thing (which in real life he would never ever get) that took forever. So I was sitting their telling him that we had like 20 minutes before we had to get married and he better hurry up. Then another dream I had was that all of our centerpieces were tiny bowls full of those cheap candy almonds in pastel colors that you only see at Easter (that was kind of a nightmare, ahhh). The weird dreams always wake me up in the middle of the night and of course I stay awake for hours trying to not stress about my dream, it’s lame.

So on Monday we were at Jake’s parents house and they asked about the wedding plans and I told them that we were hoping to send out the invitations this weekend, and then Jake’s mom says, “oh I forgot to give you a bunch of addresses for my family.” I am surprised how calm I acted. I have had the guest list pretty much finished for a very long time, it’s one of the first things I did in order to plan how much of my parents money I can spend (ha!). I have just continued to update addresses and add a couple extra people, but I asked them for a list over a year ago when we got engaged, 6 months ago when we were looking at how many invitations to buy and like 2 months ago when I was finalizing the guest list. So we bought 150 invitations, which is more then we needed, and now I don’t have enough. The wedding is supposed to be for 200 people and we now have 276 people. I am praying that we have 76 people who are too far away to come but honestly I don’t know if that will happen. Lamity lame lame.

So I have this “friend” from high school, I’m not sure if I wrote about her or not. But her name is Carrie and in high school we were pretty good friends, she is short like me and we have the same shoe size so that was cool. But Carrie is the type of person that naturally just annoys people, you know those people. The ones who just wont stop talking, who call you about nothing and when you hang out with them your mind wants to explode from all the non-stop chit chat. . .Well anyways, she’s one of them. As much as I see that in her, I don’t really care. She is a really cool person and we have a lot in common, so I don’t mind. But a lot of other people do mind and don’t really like to hang out with her. So Carrie is pregnant, (just like everyone else I know) and that is good (sort of) but she calls me a couple months ago and said this, “I want you to do my baby shower with Jessie.”

1: That is not proper etiquette; someone has to offer to throw a shower for you.
2: I don’t really want to plan it with Jessie, she’s not cool.
3: As much as she is my friend and I like her, I am super busy right now and don’t have the time (honestly).

But here I am and the shower is on Sunday, only 2 people have said they can come so we’ll see how many people show up.

I feel like she is completely not prepared at all, I mean nobody is prepared but she seems like she doesn’t want to be prepared. She told me that she wasn’t going to read any baby books or parenting books, and every time I ask her about anything with the baby, she’s just not excited. So I went to Wal-Mart and bought so much stuff for the baby Jake kind of freaked out. I just don’t want her to not have the essentials, and I feel like she doesn’t know what the essentials are. But buying all of that stuff super made me want another baby even more, Ty is 4 and he’ll be at least 5 by the time we have another one and that is getting too far apart, in my opinion.

For some reason New Years Eve/Day has never been really important to me. It’s just another day, and really all it means to me is that I am going to write the wrong year on everything for about 2 ½ months (and I get the day off of work). I guess most people look at it as a new beginning, but isn’t everyday a new beginning? Or for that matter, every hour, minute or second? You can really change your life at any time if you wanted. There are so many people who decide to change something about their life on new years, which is good, but why not any other day. It seems like a copout because it gives you an excuse to do whatever you want to stop doing (or continue to not do) whatever it is you are going to start on New Years Day until that day comes. So if you decide in November that you will start exercising for your new years resolution then you have 2 months to eat whatever you want and sit on your a$$. That is lame. I think the people who think like that are the like 60% of the people who fall through on their resolutions. Which is another thing; it is so ingrained in our heads that the resolutions we make don’t usually work, you are like expecting it not to work so it doesn’t. It sets you up for failure. I guess I just think New Years resolutions are lame overall.

So that is that...


Last night we had a fondue dinner at our house. It was super yummy. Tyler liked it, because we kind of did a movie night where we had the fondue on our coffee table and watched a movie while we ate, he likes that. Melting pot is jake and my favorite place to go, so I tried to have most of the stuff they do, but I didn’t want to make all the different dips, so we just dipped everything in cheese. We had steak, kielbasa, sourdough bread, apples, etc. The steak in cheese was amazing! I would have never thought of it but it was the best!

Tomorrow we are going to the Fiesta Bowl Parade. My family goes every year, so that will be fun.