skateboarding with the boys...

ty and jake went skateboarding this afternoon and i took some cute picks of them. . . : )

christmas sucks. . .

well i guess it doesnt suck, it's acctually usually pretty cool. But having tyler split up between 15 families sucks. He has to go have christmas with:

- james
- james' family
-james' girlfriends 5 mom and dads
- me and jake
- my family
-jakes family

and his birthday is on christmas eve so he also has 2 parties usually around the same time too.

When kids have too much stimulation on little sleep they tend to get so overwhemed and dont know how to control their feelings of the overwhelmedness. Basically Tyler was so tired from opening presents for b-day and christmas with his dad and family from christmas eve that on chrismas morning he woke up and had a meltdown. He said several times that he didnt want to open presents and he didnt want any of his presents until he got a skateboard. Apparently he got one at james' and he would not have anything else but to have one at our house too. (luckly i called james on christmas eve and asked if there was anything that ty really liked that he thought i should get too, so i got a skateboard but ty didnt know that yet). So the morning was just crankyness. Then at my parents house he was just crazy hyper, running around everywhere! then we took a nap around 4:30 and at 7 went to jakes parents house. Ty didnt want to eat dinner and didnt want to open presents either. He just sat and watched a movie.
You would think that christmas would be fun for kids, but because ty has to go so many places he is just so exahusted and doesnt care really. I feel really bad for him, he should get to enjoy it.

Other then ty's 45 meltdowns durring the day christmas was really good. The family time was good and so was the food.

Also i feel like i'm getting closer to jakey recently, maybe it's the holidays or maybe its because we're getting married in freaking like 75 days, but whatever it is, it is wonderful! : )

maybe this is a miracle in disguise

So i have decided to quit my job. And i think it is going to be one of the best decisions ever. hopefully. lol

It basically comes down to this: a couple girls from my office and i went to the only woman on the executive team because we felt that we were being discriminated against from our boss because we are women. Then the next day our CEO and my boss called a meeting with our whole department and said that their were people creating rumors around the office that were complete 'crap' and that if we didnt like our job we should quit because they have a line of people waiting to take our jobs. Yeah, i dont know what planet they are from but that was illegal. Nobody talked to us about our feelings or tried to resolve it, they just threatened our jobs...

And then today our boss (who i have the problem with) decided that maybe he should talk to us. Then when we told him that we felt we were being treated un-fairly and that someone should have talked to us about it and that it was illegal what they did, he turned around and said, "well i could fire you guys right now because your hair is not professional today." (our hair were in pony-tails today). We got extremely mad at him and he said, "it's in the employee handbook that you have to look professional." I buy expensive clothes to go to work in and dress extremely professional, in my opinion. But when he said he would fire me because of my hair i lost all of my respect for him.

However, i'm looking for a part-time job on off hours so ty doesnt have to go to daycare and i could spend all day with him. The thing with this though is that he will probably sleep at Jame's, which i honestly dont like at all. But i think it will be worth it if i get to spend all day with him : )
I think i wrote a blog about this a couple weeks ago. I never see Ty, it is sooooo stupid! The world should make it easier for families.

There is a job that i am interested in already, it's Mon-Fri 6pm-midnight, 30 hours a week but pays as much as i get now p/h, and we would actually have more money then working full time because ty wouldn't go to daycare, and we wouldn't have to pay that ridiculous bill!! We shall see!

it's official

- i am officially obsessed with Twilight...
I have never liked a book (series) and movie, so much in my life! I am very surprised at myself honestly, i never thought i would like something that includes vampires and ware wolves it's so nerdy. But i guess i like it for the love story, it's so cute.

- It's officially 3 months to our wedding (!!!!!!!!)
It's so crazy! in 3 months i will be married to the most wonderful man in the world.

- i officially want to move..
i dont know if we will, but i cannot live in one place for more then a year and a half, we've been here a year and one week so i think it's about time to start looking...i dont know though, this house may be good for a while. i just need a change.

- my department is officially under appreciated at work
we had our work Christmas party last night and it was very obvious how important my department is to everyone else in the company. Everyone there says that it is all about the sales. The sales department which is about 70% of the company are way more appreciated then we are and it is complete shit. I mean, i love my job, it has to be the best job i've ever had (so far) but the sales people go out there a lot and lie to people then we have to be the ones to defend their lying and we get no recognition for that. I understand that in every company the sales people bring in the bacon, but if we werent there then then our company wouldnt be able to work either.

-i'm officially ready for Christmas...
i have had peppermint mocha's up the yin yang, gone shopping on black Friday, put up (1/2 of) the Christmas tree, bought $100 worth of peppermint scented bath and body works stuff, and bought cheese from hickory farms.

i dont know what this is about...

Has anyone noticed gas prices? They rock! I may be showing how young I am right now, but I have never driven with gas prices this low before. . . it’s cool.

I have had such a fun week. I know that I just said in my last blog that I never have a girls night out, but the burtons were in town so I went out to dinner and a movie with them. We saw Changeling and it was probably one of the saddest movies ever, if you are a mom don’t go and see this. It was especially bad because it was James’ night with ty and so Ty wasn’t home for me to see him after the movie. I cant even imagine losing ty and then finding out that he might have been murdered and nobody helping me to find him. Holy smokes. Angelina Jolie did a great job though. Then on T-day I took Jake to see Twilight (again)! Then we had dinner at my grandma’s, it had to be one of the best t-days ever, it is usually really boring, but my grandma had a Wii and so my whole family played that for several hours, it was fun, but ty didn’t like other people playing. Then we went to the Rogers’ house and had dinner there too. Jakes family always goes around the table and says what they are thankful for, it is cute but it is so awkward! It’s like everyone is thankful for each other, which is obvious but if you don’t say it it’s like you don’t care about them, so everyone goes around and says the same thing. It is really nice though and I’m glad that they want to share that every year. On Friday I went shopping super early, I went to Kohls and I thought it opened at 5 but it opened at 4 so I was an hour late, because I was an hour late I stood in line for 45 minutes to check out! If you can picture Kohls, they have two check out things on either side of the store, well they two lines went all the way to the back of the store and met in the middle!! Ahh! And I dint have a cart or bag, so I held all my stuff, and my arms literally hurt for the next 2 days. Then I went to work and decorated our office, then went to get ty at school and went shopping with him! Then went shopping later that day with Jakey! Woot woot! On Saturday we went to the car show, it was fun, jake has never been there before but I love going so it was good, it was in the new civic center, they did a great job and had no problem spending as much of our tax dollars as they could.

Writing these blogs always make me think about how much I don’t have Tyler. I almost always write about things that I do when I don’t have ty because when I do have ty we like to stay home to spend time with each other, or we go to Chucky Cheese, and nobody wants to hear about that. So anyways, last week I calculated how much time I actually have Tyler and I had a reality check of how horrible our world is. I did the math based on hours he is awake because that is the time I have to teach him about the world and such…so ty spends 60% of his waking hours at day care, 24% with me and 16% with James. (Of course I would have him way more if I counted the time he slept) I thought that this was maybe because Ty splits his time between me and James, but even if we didn’t do that I would still only have him 40% of the time. Then I thought that maybe I work too much, but I work 40 hrs a week, that is completely normal. When I realized the amount of time that is passing where I could be out with Ty instead of working for money just so it could be thrown away to bills I swear I almost quit my job.

I wrote a bunch more, but decided I was venting too much. I just think society needs to put family above money and make it easier to stay home with your family the first couple years, and if they can’t or for some reason don’t want to then daycare needs to be cheaper, I mean I could pay for an apartment and utilities in that apartment with the amount of money I give the daycare.

Celebrity gossip

I just read that Spedi (Heidi & Spencer from The Hills) eloped in Mexico.

Side note:
I have to admit that I am addicted to reading about celebrities, but it’s not because I wish I was famous, or am envious of their ‘fabulous’ lives. I have this love of trying to figure out why people do things, to try and get in someone’s mind and see why they are thinking or acting the way they do. Since celebrities are stalked every second of the day, they are fairly easy to figure out.

Any who, why would Heidi marry this guy?? He is such a pig!! And what really perplexes me is that they eloped in Mexico and didn’t invite anybody. These two are all about being on TV and magazines everywhere, why was this a quiet thing?? Why did they not have a big TV wedding so the whole world could watch? That would be more there style. Weird…

So on Friday I had a girls night out which I never ever do, I think maybe 1-3 times a year. We saw Twilight then went to an Irish pub and then went to eat. It was super fun! Twilight was amazing!! Like really amazing! I didn’t read the books. Everyone always says that the books are better then the movies because they have a lot more detail, but I find that when you read the book you imagine things and then are disappointed with the movie because it’s not how you imagined. So I didn’t read the twilight books, or the harry potter books and I don’t plan to, because the movies are perfect and I don’t want to ruin them. There were 4 of us girls and I was the only one who didn’t read the books and I think I liked it more then any of them.

I have also taken on a new hobby, beading. My mom and I took a beading class because we are going to make the bridesmaids jewelry for the wedding (yeah!) and then the store had a humongous sale, 50% off everything, so I bought a lot of stuff! But I have made some cute necklaces. I saw this amazing necklace at Jared once, it was a glass bead thing and was like 2-3 hundred bucks but it didn’t have any special diamonds or stones so I replicated it and mine only cost like 20 bucks, and it looks just as good, if not better.

eat and sleep

this weekend has been fun so far. Yesterday we went to Mastro's Ocean Club, it is a really fancy restaurant where they have $4500.00 bottles of wine and you pay 60 bucks for just the entree and 10 for each side. It is at Kierland in Scottsdale so there were a lot of rich people. We had reservations at 8:45pm but for some reason they were really behind and we didn't sit down until about 9:30. So while we were waiting we had a ton of fun people watching. There were so many plastic people there we literally started counting how many fake boobs we saw. When we finally sat down the food was so wonderful! They even brought us free desert!! yumm! It was wonderful! The best part of it was though is that we had a $100.00 gift card from my boss who got it from someone else for Christmas last year but didn't want it so gave it to me. So we didn't really end up paying that much. I think we might go back, but only like once a year, it's too expensive and there are too many fake people for me. Oh! there martinis are served with dry ice, i thought that was cool.

So that was good then we slept a lot, then we had the left overs for lunch the next day and got full again, then i took a nap, then we went to cheesecake factory and were full again! We did more stuff in between eating and sleeping, but i kind of feel like that's all I've done all weekend, its nice.

mine and tylers thoughts on the current economic situation

I asked what Tyler what he thought about the economy and he said:
"The economy looks like a radio and that (he points to an external hard drive). "

So i was driving at lunch and had a thought. . . The economy sucks right now and a lot of business are suffering, but i bet one business that is not suffering is the place that sells the 'going out of business' and 'everything must go' signs. They are probably having a grand ol time right now!

She's my mom, not my sister!

so today Ty had karate and i was in the class watching him and him and his friend, Anthony started fighting...it went like this:

Anthony to Tyler: "look, your sister's here."

Tyler to Anthony politely: "That's my mommy."

Anthony: "no that's a kid, she's your sister."

Tyler kind of annoyed: "no. she's my mom."

Anthony: "no it's not, that's your sister"

Tyler mad: "No she's not my sister, shes my mom!"

Anthony: "shes a baby, not your mom."

Tyler really really mad: "I'M NOT YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE BECAUSE YOU CALLED MY MOM A BABY!!!" and he turns around.


It was probably one of the proudest moments I've had of Ty. It was so cute watching him fight with the other boy telling him all those things.

Sick...

Tuesday I went home from work sick, I had like a 24 hr stomach bug. That was no fun, I felt pretty ok but I didn’t want to be puking at work so I went home and slept and puked…fun. Then on Wednesday I woke up and was all better but had some allergies, but not too bad. But last night my allergies were attacking me and this morning I thought I was going to die. I have blown my nose so much my nose is all red, you know...it hurts. I am not sick very often, but having two things right in a row suck!!!!

We went to register last night, it was really fun but then I had like a mini panic attack and got extremely overwhelmed, I kind of snapped at Jake because he was bouncing back and forth having fun and I wanted to go down the isles one at a time. (Which doesn’t make any sense because I am not an organized person.) But for some reason I was really freaked out, I was thinking, “why the hell are we registering for presents that people technically don’t have to give us when we could be at the florist or one of the other things on our humongous list that we have to do?” Maybe it’s the beginning of bridezilla?? I don’t know but tomorrow it will be 4 months to our wedding and I am super excited and freaked out!

Ps. I took some allergy medicine over an hour ago and it's not working...

my baby's so big!

Ty has been doing karate at school for a couple months now and they recently changed it to later in the day so I he basically just started the class when I get there to pick him up, so I get to watch! He is so cute! He is a really good listener and is probably the best in the class, I am not just saying that because he is mine, the teacher is constantly using him as an example of how good he listens and everything. I also like watching because it shows me how grown up he is. He can do everything by himself and he just turns around once or twice to waive and smile at me then turns back around to focus. I can’t explain it but it’s like he looks at me and says, “Hey mom, I am a big kid now playing with my friends, I love you and I’ll be right there in a minute but look how cool I am right now!” I don’t know how to explain it but he is just so cute! He's getting so big, he'll be 4 next month!

wedding cakes!

so today so far we have had a pretty eventful day, we have ordered our invitations and programs and we have went to one cake place and ate a lot of cake.

The invitations are awesome but the cake place sucked. I have a picture of the most perfect cake in the world and i showed it to them and she basically told me it was impossible to make...That is one of my biggest pet peeves. I had 3 pictures right there and she told me it wasn't possible to make??? then was the picture photoshoped? Did the baker lie on his website that he made this cake??? no, i don't think so!! If she was incapable of doing it she could have just said that, but she basically implied that my dream cake was fake and that made me mad as heck! After a while of me insisting that i didn't really like any other cake she came around and said maybe she could do something like it and she would throw in a couple free things and blah blah...So we will see, we have another baker to go to.

colors

why do boys only see things in regular colors, like red, green, yellow, orange...they have no concept of turquoise, magenta, lavender, etc. Turquoise and Blue are different colors, why dont they see that? dumb...

someone just made my day!

so this girl i went to high school with just messaged me on myspace and asked me if i could be the photographer for her sisters wedding. That is crazy!! But i cant do it because it is really short notice and i already have plans for that day...i feel kind of bad but i also feel like i need a better camera first. I would be so embarrassed if i showed up with a point and shoot that is broken in like 5 places because ty keeps dropping it. But that is what i get for letting ty take pictures...It just made me excited that someone would think of asking : )

: )

there is pink everywhere!!

So for the last like 8 months i have been obsessed with pink, like bright pink, not light, baby, lame pink. I think it's because from 5th-10th grade me and my friends used to say we were 'allergic to pink' and for over 1/2 my life i didnt like own anything pink because i though it was too girly. But now it is like the main color in our wedding and i just am so attracted to anything pink. Jake thinks i am crazy, but he is ok with it, he even let me put the bright pink sheets i bought on our bed!
I also really want a baby girl. but that wont be for a year or two. Speaking of babies...ty has really wanted a baby doll for a while so yesterday we went and bought a baby doll and he named her Carolyn. He really likes her and pretends to take care of her and is pretty good at it.

Well we are watching Charlie Wilson's War, its suppose to be good so i will concentrate on that.

W.

So last night James had Ty so Jake and I went and saw “W.” I swear that was one of the worst movies I have ever seen, or not seen, I slept through a good hour of it. Oh man that was a waste of my money. I think it was because they showed him from college to current and the same old actor played both and it was hard to believe that a young, wild, college student had saggy wrinkly skin.

i think my son is racist

so last night at dinner we were eating (obviously) and I told ty to eat all his peas so he could be big and strong. He said “yeah like ninja turtles!” then he thought that because the peas are green and the ninja turtles are green that all things green were big and strong. Then he said, “but we cant be big and strong because we are really white.”

Oh man, I don’t know if that if funny on here, but Jake and I were cracking up! Ha!

On another note, I think I want Christmas to be here. I don’t know why but I want to put up the tree and wrap presents and decorate the house. It feels like such a happy time when the house is decorated. Plus I have a closet full of presents that I need to get rid of, they are wasting space

clean clean clean

this weekend we did a lot of cleaning. our washer is broken so we went over to my parents and did 9 loads of laundry...ughh.. then we finished putting up the fence that blew over in that big storm we had forever ago. my sister also had homecoming and so i got to take pictures of her and her bf. It was cute.

I guess i dont have anything to write about...

Fair

So for some reason my family really likes going to the state fair, I think it's because my mom usually enters in baked goods to try and win ribbons but we go every year. So this year we decided it would probably be best to not take ty, i know he would like it but but he is just a bit too young. He went when he was a baby but next year i think he will have fun riding the rides and stuff. So Jake and i were planning on going on Friday but then last night i saw that they have $1 rides on Wednesdays so we went last night! We had lots of fun! We had lots of food, Jake won me a prize and i even convinced him to go on some crazy rides with me. I am so glad we went on a week day night, nobody was there. anywho, here are some pictures!

I love mashed potatoes so we had this...it was pretty good!

Ok I AM NOT PREGNANT but this mirror made me look like it! or maybe i am just fat...

Perfect night!

spendin some dough...doe???

so i dont really have a favorite season, but if i had to choose it would be Christmas season only because i love peppermint. I love the peppermint mocha frappachinos at Starbucks, all the candy canes around, but most of all the bath and body works 'twisted peppermint' collection. It's sad that the stores put up the Halloween and Christmas stuff together, i mean what about thanksgiving and stuff? But because all of the Christmas stuff are coming out that means i went to bath and body works and spent over $100.00 on Twisted Peppermint stuff, i got shower gel, lotion, spray, body cream, and hand sanitiser. I am so in love with this stuff, and i got two coupons to come back next week!! yeah!!

Then we went to walmart to get a present for my aunt's b-day and we found a wii fit board, we have been looking for that for over 6 months and we found one when we weren't looking, of course. So now ty and jake are playing and ty is really good at it. lol.

what the F just happened?

so i have had one of the weirdest and worst days today. i don't understand what just happened with the world.

a couple weeks ago the CEO of our company came up to me and asked me in to his office to talk about my boss and basically how horrible he is. Apparently he was going to fire him and wanted my input. So i like my boss as a person but not as a boss and i explained to my CEO everything and so did a few other co workers. Then earlier this week he told me to report to him every day and tell him how my boss was doing. Then today we are sitting in our meeting and my boss is still not fired the CEO decides to tell everyone that my boss will still be there pretty much forever (ugghhh) and that everyone needs to stop 'degrading' our boss. I am thinking WTF? he just asked me to rat him out and spy on him and now we cant be degrading? ehhh...there is a lot more but i was surprised by this...

Then today james and i decided to talk about our problems and i was so excited because this was a conversation 4 years coming. but then i got in the car to talk to him and it was like i was sitting with a stranger. It was the weirdest thing in the world. I know that sometimes people get a divorce because they "grew apart" it was like that. we didn't know who each other were anymore and talking to each other was impossible. So we didn't talk and our friendship is basically done and gone. It's not the type of closure i was expecting, but at least it is closure.

Why are the leaves still green??

So I was jealous of Rachel and Daniel who went up to see the pretty leaves, so I decided that we could go to Oak Creek Canyon and see the leaves and have a picnic. So we went and despite what the website said and showed all the freaking leaves were green!! I cant tell you how mad I was that we wasted a tank of gas and the whole day for green leaves. But we did have a picnic and I think Ty had fun. It was also our one year engagement anniversary, which means it was a year ago that Jakey proposed, HA! So we kind of celebrated that and he got me flowers and a really pretty ring with diamonds and black diamonds. I love it! Black diamonds were on my list of things to get before I die, so I am happy. : )

i guess i've needed to vent for a couple years...

I have been thinking a lot about forgiveness and moving forward and all of that. I thought that I was a “forgive but not forget” person, but can you really forgive if you don’t forget? Then I started thinking that maybe I don’t forgive like it think I do. I started thinking about what type of person I am and I usually don’t really believe in zodiac signs but I am a Cancer and my sign is all about emotions. When fighting with a Cancer they won’t really care what you are saying unless you understand where they are coming from. Not just say you understand but really understand. I never had this problem before, I was pretty open minded but now a days I find myself not listening (truly listening) until the other person sees where I am coming from first. Kind of selfish and I need to change that but for now that is how it is. So something to remember if you are fighting with me, understand where I am coming from then I will listen to you and then we can resolve the problem. So back to forgiveness. . . I was goggling when to forgive someone and I came across this answer on Yahoo Answers from some user:

I honestly think forgiveness is earned. If a person who has caused you pain and shows no remorse - if that were me, I would not forgive. I would try and let go as much as possible, but there would be no forgiveness.If they did ask then there would need to be a sit down, a coffee and a long discussion. They would need to know exactly what they are asking forgiveness for and not just be doing themselves a favor to get into your good books. Forgiveness is an understanding of who was hurt and who hurt, an understanding of what went wrong and an honest desire to make everything better.Forgiveness should only be given should that person apologize from the bottom of their heart.

I really agree with this answer. I think that I cannot truly forgive someone until they come to me and say, “Hey, I understand why you are mad, let’s fix this.”

Unfortunately I have realized that I have two people in my life that I have to deal with that I have not really forgiven that I thought I did.

1: James- In high school he put me through some really bad crap, cheating on me (multiple times), getting someone (a supposed friend) pregnant, lying about the life that he was really living doing drugs, not supporting me in my pregnancy, and in general not truly caring about me as a person. Probably the biggest thing though is 2 days before I gave birth he told me he thought i was lying about being pregnant, what a blow to the gut. I feel like a lot of the problems that we have as friends and as parents to Ty are because of what happened between us as “kids.” It is so incredibly frustrating, I think we need counseling. It’s like that expression that there is an elephant in the room. We have like 5 elephants that we have to deal with, but every time I bring something up about what happened, he just avoids the subject. So this has not helped me truly forgive him, because he hasn’t acknowledged what happened in the past.

2: Tori- I guess just everything, the list would be too long to type out, it would take me 5 years. But I am not even going to waist my time with it. Actually, one thing that is beyond the obvious other things, When rumors were around that I was pregnant she had the guts to go around and say that it was because I wanted to get back at her or be like her or even to try and keep James because I was jealous. . . When in reality what happened was she didn’t tell anyone she was pregnant until she was already 3 months. Then I found out literally less then 2 weeks after her, I was already pregnant when she “found out” I just didn’t know yet.

But I have to deal with these two people and not being able to have forgiveness in our relationships is very difficult. I feel sorry for them both, for everything that happened. But I don’t think that these issues are something that easily forgivable or forgettable. I guess it’s just been on my mind lately with the holidays coming.

bad day = shopping spree

So when we had that big storm our fence blew down in our back yard, it was the fence between us and Jake’s parents so it’s really not a big deal, but their fence on the other side fell down too so we have 3 back yards connected. It is still not fixed because Jake’s mom and dad are fighting about what type of fence to put up. This wouldn’t be a huge problem, except our dog has to stay inside all the time and doesn’t have a place to run around and play so she is crazy. I came home last night I walked in to a house that had clothes strung all over with holes in them and papers ripped to shreds and pretty much everything was ruined (and she peed on my bed!). Apparently she knocked down several doors during the day… So I was mad. . . She had put several holes in one of my good pants from work that I planned on wearing today because we are having someone special coming in. So I told Jake that I needed to go get a new pair of white pants for today, we went off to the mall and I left Ty and Jake at the play thing and I went shopping. I called Jake to come meet me because I was almost done and well he was not surprised when I had not only one pair of white pants but two grey ones, a black pair, a pair of jeans and I think like 6 shirts. It was a good night… : )

saucy...

i am eating some wendy's fries right now and i have realized over the years that depending on where i eat, i get a different dipping sauce. In my opinions the fries are so different and they all only have one (or two) solemate sauces that you cannot confuse with one another. So here is my list of sauces:

• McDonalds: Ketchup or BBQ
• Jack in the box: Ranch
• Wendy's: BBQ
• Burger King: Buffalo Sauce or Ranch

did i say i was going to clean this weekend?

Ha! i don't know who i was trying to fool..

On Friday i felt sick, actually i felt sick all week, but Friday i went home early and took a nap. Then Jake and i went to stay at the Sheraton (where we are getting married!!!) all weekend. That was nice, it is always good to have a change of scenery. On Saturday we went to look at invitations, ughh that sucked. Then we went to a whole bunch of really cheap craft stores in the getto to try and find ribbon, we found some of one color but not of the other two. I think we may have to order them online...

Then we went to metro and went shopping! yeah! We walked past the Verizon store and Jakey bought me a new phone! He owes me since he lost my other one off the roller coaster almost a year ago. So i am now awesome with a touch screen phone! : ) Then when we went back to the car, it was dead, lame. It was later at night so all the shops were closed. Luckly we were staying accross the street at the hotel. So we walked back to the hotel, and we went swimming and played on the water slide. In the morning we went back to the car and tried to jump it and it wouldnt work, so then we drove (we had 2 cars) back to our house to get tools to get the battary out. We took the battary to Sears and they said that it was fine, so then we tried the car again and it wouldnt work. We called Jake's dad and he came down to see if he could fix it, while we were waiting we saw "burn after reading" that was the weirdest most pointless movie ever. When we came out Jakes dad had the car running and told us that it was the battary and Sears was wrong. Awesome. It was a pretty good weekend.

Today is not like the nice weekend i had though, i think i am going to kill my boss...

my thumb

i hurt my thumb last night...

Do the Dew

i am drinking a mountain dew right now, i don't think i have had one in at least 7 years. It is interesting. . .

This weekend we are going to throw out like half of the stuff in our house, it is impossible to have a nice looking house if you have a bunch of stuff. So we are going to clean everything and throw out a lot. Our house is not the best house but i think it is good for another 2-5 years. But i need to get it organized. I think we might talk to our landlord to see if we can get new carpet within the next year too. The carpet sucks.

I decided that i am going to by myself a good camera hopefully in December and i am going to really research photography and try to be good at it. I feel like i don't have any hobbies and i should have one, and i really really super like it and it doesn't take away from my time with Tyler.

internet

so i have been thinking a lot about the Internet. Like seriously, how did the Internet exists without Google??? i know that there was a time when there was no Google, but i don't get it, didn't the people who first made the Internet think about having some sort of search engine?

Then i was reading a friends survey on myspace and one of the questions was: "is your page set to private?" She was like, "duh." This is another thing i don't understand. Why would anyone have an Internet page and set it to private? it's really weird.
In my opinion you see peoples 'true colors' on myspace most of the time. I have several friends who i thought i knew until i looked at their myspace. It's a place where you can pick your background, colors, friends, music, and what you say. People post pictures of themselves naked or just talking all this crap about other people...just stuff they would never do in person. So therefore i don't know why people would put their profile to private, are you afraid to show the world who you really are? I think that is lame. I guess i understand if you have like an on-line journal, but usually you don't show those to anybody, not even your best friend or spouse. I don't know, i guess it's the all or nothing thing. If you are going to be a slut then you should be able to show it to the world and if you want a journal to write in when you are depressed then you shouldn't show it to anyone.

i love being independant

This weekend was fun. On Friday James took ty to see that dinosaur thing downtown so Jake and i saw Pineapple Express. That movie was freaking funny, i have never laughed so hard at a movie. I am kind of surprised too, i don't usually like movies with that type of humor.
On Saturday we went everywhere, we started Christmas shopping, we have about 5 things already, its a start. I think it will be better to stock up rather then wait for the last minute and charge it all to my amex. And I am not so good at saving so that is not an option. Tyler played at desert ridge in that water area and i think he had some fun. Then we had lunch at my parents house. After that we went to Fry's Electronics to buy some RAM and Mario Kart. I don't usually like video games but there are some that i really like, Mario kart is one of them, it is super fun.

i know that i haven't lived with my parents for a couple of years but it is really the best thing ever. I know i have to pay bills, clean and be responsible but I have friends who still live with their parents or depend on them financially and i cant imagine how much that sucks. Usually they have more money to spend on whatever because they don't have bills. but i am the type of person who would much rather be independent. Like yesterday i wanted a steak, so in the middle of the day, not during any meal time i made a steak, just a steak and i eat it. If i were at my parents house 1: they wouldn't have steak 2: i would probably not be allowed to make one in the middle of the day. It would be cool to not have so much responsibility but being able to do the following things is way worth it:

throwing my clothes on the floor if i wanted
blasting music and having a "dance party" with ty
making yummy food for dinner
having colored walls instead of white
going places without telling people where i am going
having people over with out worrying they will be judged
(i must be honest here) having really loud sex (when ty is not home)

Coco

apparently ty has an imaginary friend. His name is Coco, he is "a little boy like tyler," he lives in a painting at grandma's and he flies in the sky.

The end

fun saturday...

My sister is at my house this weekend...(yes Rachel i am 'watching' her) my parents think she is old enough to stay home by her self but not for the whole weekend, so she is sleeping on the couch. We went ring shopping today for the last time. i am so sick of ring shopping, as i explained before. But there is one ring that i have liked the whole time while looking but it is not technically an engagement ring, but it is definitely different which is what i wanted. Since my original ring is pretty traditional i wanted something not traditional... so here it is. . .
You cannot fit a wedding band with it but since we are getting the wedding band custom made we can make it work! : ) i love it.

We had oregano's with my grandma and that was super yummy! Then we went and saw The House Bunny. I was really disappointed with that. Ummm now we are watching Seven. . . Ummm yep.

Caylee anthony

I don't know if anybody here in Az has been following this story... it is so addicting to me. We were in Disney world when it all went down and now i am addicted to following the whole thing. i look it up everyday and watch all the news shows about it and everything. Apparently there is going to be a news story on 20/20 tonight and its almost always on Nancy Grace (dumb). The mother is crazy, she is such a liar, i feel so bad for the family and i want to know where the girl is.
If you have time look it up, it is interesting.

We have decided that we are going to get another ring this weekend or next weekend. i am super sad about the whole situation, but we have no choice. We talked to a lot of people and basically what it comes down to is this: If we keep the ring and a diamond pops out it is not a big deal we will just have to pay for another diamond and the fee to get it re-set, but if one of the bigger ones fall out it will be about $500-800 per diamond every time. It could be that none of them ever fall out but what if they do? I don't want all our money to go to waist...

It has been the hardest thing ever because it is like picking your second favorite ring, nothing will replace this one it is amazingly perfect. Every one i look at now doesn't look right. But we are going to get one and turn my first one in to a wedding band (and probably earrings). I think it will be good. That way it doesn't just sit in a box and it can still be meaningful. I also feel like my new ring needs to be completely different because anything that looks like mine doesn't look 1/2 as good.

blah! i am watching my sister this weekend and tomorrow is her b-day, she has a boyfriend and i am pretty sure it is her first real boyfriend. Well this guy, Tommy, apparently has never had a gf either and he keeps texting me about what to get my sister for her b-day. It is weird. . . he is cool but he has no clue. he was going to give her cash??? ummmm no. Well i have to go to a meeting now.. ugh.

lame...

I am so excited that tomorrow is Friday and I don’t have to work on Monday. Thank God! I love my job like no other but certain people at my office are really getting on my nerves. It is like a tiny high school in here, everyone always fights with each other and is so fake. It is really lame. We are out of high school, grow up. The only thing different is that it is not high school drama like ‘you stole my boy friend’ it’s like ‘you’re sleeping with the boss and being treated unfairly, I hate you.’ Oh well, what are you going to do?

My love...

I am excited...Gossip Girl starts in one week! Next Monday! woot woot! I am in love with that show. I have never really watched a show religiously but this is definitely one worth obsessing over.

The End.

bling bling problems...

so this weekend i found out that the store Jake got my engagement ring is going bankrupt and is shutting down. They said that my warranty and everything is going away too...I immediately went in to a panic mode, calling them going to other stores, talking to supervisors and managers and even talking to there legal department at corporate. Unfortunately there looks like there is nothing i can do. There is another jewelery company that is doing the same thing and you can file a claim as a customer as part of the bankruptcy and potentially get a refund but i cannot find out how to do that with them. Probably because they are completely done there is nothing left of them. . . i don't know though i am pissed.

i know a lot of people choose to upgrade their rings on there 25th anniversary or whenever but i never thought i would do that, Jake got me this beautiful perfect ring and i want to wear it forever, i don't want another ring. But the problem is that the tiny 57 diamonds on my ring keep popping out and i don't want to have to keep taking them to a different store and keep paying for them to replace it, we would eventually spend more money on fixing it then it cost. The whole situation sucks and no matter what other people think, i think it would be best in the long run to get a whole new ring and put this one safe away in a box before anything happens to it. I am still obviously trying to research what to do, but so far no luck. I told Jake that we would decide what to do in the next week or two.

oooo la la

so i got my feelings hurt by a certain friend who not knowingly dissed my cheap sheets, so i dragged jake along to the store and got some satin sheets. they are very nice... : )

fun shmum

I got my wedding dress on Saturday! yeah! Everyone went with me, i think you are usually suppose to only bring a couple people but i brought 6. I wanted everyone to be there, i don't know why, but i felt like i couldnt leave anyone out. All my bridesmaids met each other and it wasn't that bad, no fighting or anything so that is good. I decided that i dont really like being the bride, i dont like all the attention on me and i dont like telling people what to do. It stinks telling someone else that i dont like their dress, or that i want something a certian way even if they dont like it. It's really an akward situation and i know that it is only the beginning. But when they get married i will happily go along with what they want : )

I think i am starting to have a social life

i am having more of a social life lately. . . it's kind of cool. I think i am coming to terms that Ty has to go to James' house once in a while so they can have a relationship and that it is ok for me to do stuff when i don't have ty. He only has them every-other weekend but before Jake and i just stayed home and did nothing but go to movies and be homebodies, which i love. But recently our weekends have been packed of things to do with other people! it's freaking exciting! i feel like i am actually 21. This weekend we did the whole volleyball thing, woot woot. Then we went to the Salt River with Nicole and Mike. It was really fun, and beautiful! i did not think it would be that fun but i am deff. doing that again. this weekend is going to be the best weekend ever because i get to go wedding dress shopping!!!!!!!! oh man! i am so excited!! I cant even explain, yeah! We are doing some stuff with the Burton's too and then i am going out with my co-workers too. and we're probably buying another computer this weekend too....
The only thing that sucks is that we don't get to see our movies. Jake and i love movies and we watch them all the time, it's like our hobby. but the last month or two we have been too busy. we have yet to see:
- batman
- mama mia
- sisterhood of the traveling pants 2
- swing vote
- pineapple express

I think we might hit 3-4 of those this weekend because i am going crazy not seeing batman wtf...

the Olympics are on, i think Jake is already going crazy..Olympics are big in my family, kind of like Disney. We have been to 2 Olympics and they were awesome. This is the first time they have been on since we have been dating and i want to watch everything and make him watch it with me so he will get interested too. I know people generally watch gymnastics, basketball and maybe swimming and those are wonderful. But i like watching almost everything. Badminton, diving, table tennis (intense), everything really. It's so exciting and amazing! we got a DVR just for the Olympics on Friday and i am in love. : )

another bad day...when will they go away??

today is also a bad day. i am having bad days a lot recently. . . Ty is home from the hospital and that is wonderful. Everything went really well but exactly opposite of what i thought. He was fine going in to the surgery but when he was out he wouldn't drink anything! we had to stay longer because of that, but as soon as he heard that he could leave after he started drinking he got to it. I am more exhausted then i can ever remember. I am up with ty about every couple of hours to give him medicine, or a drink or just to make sure he is breathing ok. I haven't slept more then like 4 hours at a time in the last 3 days and it sucks.

(kind of graphic stuff below)
When ty got out of surgery on our way to see him in recovery, there were like 6 doctors around his bed, (usually there is only one nurse) let me tell you my heart stopped, and i stopped. I didn't want to go by the bed, i didn't know what was happening or why they were surrounding him, doctors don't just stand around. So after i realized that thinks might be ok i kept went towards the bed and saw that he was alive at least. But the doctors said he was having some trouble breathing, which again freaked me out, i felt like i shouldn't be there for some reason and i just wanted to back off until they made sure he was ok. in surgery they pierced ty's tongue with a string and tied the string through his tongue so if his tongue blocked his airway they could pull the string and make his tongue stick out so he could breathe...it was really sad, i was not expecting that. He also had blood running out the side of his mouth...it's kind of expected since he just had surgery in his throat but as a parent it was really disturbing. That is when i lost it, i was just like a big baby crying everywhere. I get really embarrassed when i do that, James was with me and i just felt like a looser.

So, it was also jakey's b-day, what a sucky day. He just hung out at the hospital all day and i kind of ignored him because i was more focused on ty. And at the end of the day he had to go home and i stayed with ty. We've only spent one other night separated since we moved in together over 2 years ago so it sucked. He tested me at 2:30 in the am to tell me that he has pink eye...Ughhh! So he stayed home from work the next day but couldn't come to the hospital either because of the pink eye, he then discovered that he was also sick, he had a fever and stuff. So that sucked too! When we got released from the hospital we couldn't go home because ty cannot get sick, so we spent the night at James' mom's house away from Jake, again. I feel so bad for him, i cant explain, but it's what's best for ty unfortunately. He feels better today so we will probably go home, but jake might sleep on the couch.

Ty is doing a lot better this morning, his little voice sounds different and that is kind of sad but it is all for the better. He breathes funny because he kind of has to learn how to re-breathe, so it is a little scary but everything is good so far.

tomorrow. . .

Tomorrow Ty is having his 4th surgery. I would like to say that because it is his 4th it is easy/easier but that is not true. In fact it’s almost harder. He is older and he is starting to understand what is happening. It’s kind of a feeling you can’t describe unless you’ve been there, kind of like when you see your baby for the first time, but this is not happy, it’s sad. I’m not really scared about the actual surgery, I think he will be ok with that, naturally I am scared about it because of everything that can happen but it is not one of my main concerns. What I hate about the whole thing is how he feels after the surgery. He cries this heartbreaking cry and I know that there is nothing I can do to help him except for hold him and try to be strong for him. I feel like he is so mad at me for making him go with some strange nurse and then they probably hold him down to knock him out and then when he wakes up he has owies and no mommy. I know that obviously I am not doing anything wrong by that but how do you explain that to a 3 year old? And he has to stay in the hospital and I know that being cooped up in a hospital bed for a day or two is not going to be easy.

On a brighter note, I made an appointment to go and try on wedding dresses!! I am soooo beyond excited for that! And tomorrow is Jakey’s b-day! We will be at the hospital so that sucks…

love love

i love jakey. he is awesome.

Drunken nights

Yesterday James turned 21. I think that is probably enough said but I would like to write more. His mom threw him a party, there were a lot of people and alcohol. It wasn’t totally crazy, but I definitely felt like the only adult there (and Jake too). They have a small pool and people were jammed in to it and wrestling around and throwing people in which is all good fun but there were other things going on that did not make it ok. There was a 3 year old swimming (why the mom let him in there at 10pm with a bunch of drunken people I don’t know, probably because she is related to tori but that is a diff. story.) The kid was getting jumped on and pushed around and kind of ignored. Then the wrestling got out of hand too, I feared for James’s life like 7 times, he was shoved under water a ton buy a big scary drunk guy and it was dumb.
Also I have always believed that when people drink it gives them an excuse to act stupid, even if they are not drunk. That annoys me. Why would you want to be stupid and look like an idiot? Well whatever, maybe I just judge James more because I expect more of him, I want him to “be all that he can be” and he isn’t sometimes. But that is ok, I love him anyways.

today sucks...

I'm having a bad day today. I always have a bad day when something is different about the day. Today ty had a doctor's appointment so i was late to work, which is fine, but ty gets thrown off of his schedule and it really affects him. First of all he hates doctors and i dont blame him, he has had 4 surgeries and has to see a bazillion doctors 3 times a year each, and they always poke him or do somthing that he doesnt like. So when i told him we were going to the doctor, he was not having that. Then when we acctually got to the doctors he had a full on fit crying and crying because he didnt want to see the mean doctors because the "hurt him a lot." : ( There is never anything i can do with that because he doesnt understand that when they are hurting him they are acctually trying to help, that doesnt make sence to a 3 year old. Anyways...the doctor we were seeing today was his plastic surgeon, he is one of the best plastic surgeons in the state so he always has a ton of interns with him which doesnt bother me but when he came in he had 5 other people with him in white coats and it freaked ty out more. The doctor made me hold ty's hands down while he looked in his mouth, Ty hates that, as she should and he screams and crys and probably hates me then i start to cry then look like an idiot infront of the 6 doctors who should be holding him down instead of me. ughhh...So they schedules ty's next surgery, it for his speech, it's kind of complicated and i never knew you could need surgery for speech but he does...So the surgery is on Tuesday. . . like in 6 days. This is a problem for several reasons. Its jake's b-day, I just got back from vacation and shouldnt miss any work, and one of my co-workers will also be gone that day (we only have 3 in our department, so we will only have 1 that day). He is going to stay in the hospital for a night or two so that will be fun...

back from the most magical place on earth

We are back, and I am at work. Awesome. Disneyworld was the best! I really needed a vacation and a break. Actually when my family does a Disney vacation it really isn’t a break, everything is planned extensively and some people think that is crazy but that is the only way I would have it. We don’t wait our time standing in line for rides because we know how to work the system, we know what days are the best to go to which parks, which days certain parks are open early and later. We don’t waist any time and we get everything done. It is really exhausting but the only way to do Disney for our family and way worth it. : ) The things that I was freaking out about really were fine (of course)

1: Ty was almost perfect on the airplane, I bought a ton of stuff to make sure he wouldn’t annoy the rude people who hate kids on the plane, and he didn’t use any of them because Jake’s dad bought us a portable DVD player the night before we left, that was awesome. It’s a freaking sweet one too!

2: I didn’t loose ty! Well actually I did. . . We were in the hotel checking in and ty was in his stroller and the check in lady sucked and was taking her precious time, well my dad looks down at the stroller then up at me and I look down and ty is not in the stroller!! Oh my Gosh! I’ve only be there like 30 seconds and he is gone already! I am a bad mother holy crap! Where is my kid!?!?!? So I kind of panicked for a second and didn’t know what to do but I looked up and ty was just standing in front of a TV that was in the lobby a couple feet away. Ughh. . . that sucked, because then I was thinking the whole time, “ok I know this can happen because it just did, what if it happens in one of the parks?” But it didn’t and everything else was fine.

3: Ty loved all of the characters; he wasn’t afraid of them at all and was the happiest kid in the world to see them. He hugged all of them except Captain Hook, who didn’t want a hug, Lol.

4: It was cool seeing my uncle and his family, my cousins loved ty and they became “friends.” My aunt has a lot of problems mentally and she has been in and out of mental hospitals and stuff for a couple years so my uncle has had a lot of responsibility on him with the kids and stuff. So he wasn’t as fun as he used to be, he was like old. Or maybe I am just older. But he was not what I remember, once in a while I saw a glimpse of what I remember but most of the time he was just a boring old guy.

Overall everything was almost perfect, I am glad to be home though, I like sleeping in my own bed. : )

well F me...

So i have made my self sick stressing out about disneyworld. . . why am i so dumb? i never got stressed before i "grew up"....

It's raining all week in Orlando except for Sunday...ughhh...Will I am off bright and early at 5 in the morning tomorrow...

Disneyworld!!

We’re leaving on Saturday super early for Disneyworld. . . I am beyond excited! : ) My whole family is obsessed with Disney and I haven’t been to Disneyworld in a while. And this is the first time Ty will visit a Disney park and be able to enjoy it (hopefully). We are going with my whole family from my dad’s side, I think there will be 12 of us ages three to seventy-something (that’s sad, I don’t know how old my grandpa is…hmmm). I am an emotional wreck right now because of the following:

1: I am way excited, duh!

2: I am super nervous. . . This is where being a mom sucks. I am really freaked out about the airplane ride over there, it is a long ways and Ty has never flown anywhere before. I think he will be ok, but I don’t want to get stares from everyone when Ty throws a tantrum because he has to stay in his seat for 5 hours. I went over board and bought about $200-$300 worth of stuff just for the airplane, I got everything, crayons, coloring books, reading books, doodle pads, sticker books, hot wheels, things so he can practice tracing and writing etc. Just crap. But I want it to go well, everyone says he might fall asleep, but I don’t think so. We will see.

3: I am still super nervous because I am afraid I will loose Tyler. I know it sounds bad but its something I don’t think people understand fully until you are a parent. Disneyworld is HUGE and kids do not always listen and behave, I like to think that Ty is a good kid and listens most of the time, but what happens if he sees something and just runs off? What happens if I don’t see him and someone takes him? We have been practicing like crazy that he needs to hold my had literally every second we are out of the house, and I got him a new stroller to sit in, which he loves. So we go to the mall a lot and “practice.” I think we’ll be ok.

4: I am sad/happy because my uncle, aunt and 2 cousins from TX are coming! I hardly ever see them and our family is really close so it is weird not to see family members for years at a time. My uncle is/was the coolest uncle ever and we were really close and then he moved to TX when I was 12-13ish which, for me was like a divorce because of the age I was. It was really bad timing and to be honest I cried a lot when he left. Since he moved I’ve only seen him 3-4 times which is horrible. So I am really happy to see him but a part of me thinks that when we leave I will cry (again) because I know I wont see him in a year or five.

I think it will be a good trip overall but i am still kind of stressed out.

"there are monsters under my bed!! "

On Thursday Tyler couldn't fall asleep because his room was scary, Jake and I tried to make it not scary and eventually he fell asleep. Then on Saturday he said his room was scary and there were monsters under his bed. On Sunday he told me that his room was scary, there were monsters under his bed, there were bees in his room, and a lion. He also said that he was afraid of his Elmo blanket (weird). He was genuinely scared so we changed the sheets to Diego so Diego could protect him and no matter what we did we couldn’t get them out. It took him over 2 hours to fall asleep because scary things kept popping up.

So he spends the night at James’ on Mondays (during the summer) so I could go to v-ball and there were not any monsters at james’ house. . . which is good but now I feel like I have a scary house, which is weird because his “house” is in the middle of greenway square and I get scared just driving down the street. . . we will see what happens tonight and see if there are any monsters or anything else.

happy birthday to me!!

so today i am 21! woot woot! it has to be my last big b-day until i am like 30... it's kind of exciting. Even though i have been over the whole partying thing for about 4 years i have to admit i was so excited about being 21 that i went out to buy some alcohol during my lunch... ; ) but i will not have any until after work, because that will be bad.

I honestly think getting drunk is really immature, i dont know why, but i feel like it is a high school thing. Nicole and i were just talking about it actually, we both went through the same thing, we partied earlier then had this like "ah ha" moment where we realized that it is silly and people look rather dumb when they drink.

But with that said i still want to be able to have a drink or two with dinner or after dinner : )

ice cream

One of the best things in the world is to get off early from work and have ice cream with your son!! happy happy times! : )

bills bills

I am kind of frustrated right now and bored so I will blog about my frustration. So not to go in to too much of my personal financial situation but the arrangement that James and I have with child support is strictly through us and if we went through the court he would have to pay me more then double what he does now, which is ok for now because that is what I agreed to. But at the same time his child support doesn’t even cover ½ of daycare for a month let alone clothes, food and general living that I have to pay for Ty. So anywho ty had a doc.’s appointment yesterday and James was nice and said he would take him. : ) right before he left work to pick up Ty he e-mailed me and asked if I could help out with the co-pay. It’s like 20 bucks. I don’t know why he can’t afford that but whatever, I said fine. Then he calls me and tells me about the doc’s appointment and tells me that the antibiotics are like 80 bucks. And if he can’t afford $20 then he can’t afford another $80. I guess usually people in our situation split medical bills which is what we do for his surgeries but for co-pays and medicine I think whoever takes him should just eat it and pay. I take him to most of the appointments anyways. But nope, I have to pay for the doctor’s appointment & medicine. Blah.. And he gets paid more then me and has less bills…WTF.

two nemo's

Ty has been begging me to get some fish for him. It seems like all he wants to do for fun is to go to the pet store to see the fish. So i gave in and got him 2 goldfish. Easy pets. He only wanted the orange fish because they were nemo fish. So i asked him what he wanted to name them and he said both of them are nemo. So now we have two nemo's. and that is all...

Stereotypes exist because they are constantly reinforced by many of the people that the stereotypes are made of

That is what i think every day as i am driving in Scottsdale...but any who..


I found a jeweler that i really like for wedding jewelry and she doesn't have a store, so you can only get them at stores who stock her stuff. One of the stores is right by my work so i went there at lunch today and i drive past the window and there are a bunch of wedding dresses in the window...i thought this was just going to be a jewelry store not a wedding store. I haven't tried on any dresses yet because i want everyone (all my girls) there when i try them on. I feel like our wedding will not be a reality until i try on dresses and pick one, so i hate looking at dresses, because it makes me so excited and i don't want to be tempted to try them on yet, especially by myself. I decided to go in the store anyways to look at the jewelry and while i was looking this girl/woman walked out of the dressing room in one of the most perfect dresses i have ever seen! I couldn't stop staring at her and the dress, she had the same body type as i do and it looked amazing on her, and it was the main style i was looking for too. I was sooo jealous of her, i felt like giving her a hug cause she looked so cute and punching her because i was so jealous at the same time. . . After seeing that dress i was so tempted to look at the other dresses, and i knew if i did that i would want to try some on and i don't want to do that yet. So i ran out of the store. Luckily i looked at the store on-line just now and that store sells dresses by, Vera Wang, Versace etc...so i wont be going back there to look at the prices. But i am super excited to look as happy as she did in my own perfect dress!!! : )

IRS

So for the last 3 weeks I have been trying to get a hold of the IRS because when I got my wonderful stimulus check it said I didn’t have a qualifying child. So as I wonder who the little boy is who lives in the room across from me and spends every penny I have for the last 3.5 years I quickly figured out that I was jipt the $300 because on my taxes I misspelled Tyler’s name, (we changed Ty’s last name last year on his birth certificate but I have not gone down to the social security office to change it there yet. I put his ‘new’ name and not the one registered with the SS office.) The IRS fixed the name a while ago and everything was wonderful. So after being on hold for over 2 hours this morning I explained my situation to the rude lady and she was so quick to tell me that they don’t re-issue out checks. (I don’t want another check I just want an additional one) She also explained to me that they base the stimulus check off of the first copy of taxes you submit… so I asked her what happens if they over paid someone on the check? She then told me that they never over pay anyone. I just read an article yesterday that they accidentally sent out duplicate checks to a lot of people.

I decided that I am not going to complain about it because really it’s awesome to get the $600 in the first place. I know a lot of people hate the government because they ‘take all our money’ but I am not one of those people. I have a child and I’m not rich so I always get a big check around April, which makes me happy. But not being able to get a hold of them for 3 weeks, being on hold for over 2 hours and then getting a rude customer service rep, kind of made me mad.

woot woot!

So that guy said hi to me again, I guess I have decided that he is just hitting on me…eww. Not cool.

So Ty has decided that I am a bad bedtime reader and 90% of the time he wants Jake to read to him. And at first it made me really sad, then I felt like it was ok because Jake does all the character voices and stuff so I understood why he was cooler. But then he would not let me read and I got really sad again. So I decided to have just a mommy time before Jake reads with his cool voices. I got him these flash cards a long time ago, thinking that my kid was way smarter then Einstein and he could do Flash cards at like 1 ½. HA! I decided to do some flash cards with him to get him memorizing numbers and letters and what they look like instead of just singing the alphabet or whatever and let me tell you he loves them! He flips out when he gets a number right! I have never seen him so happy! It has to be the cutest thing I have seen. He has 8 and 2 down like no other. But ‘10’ is just a 0 and a 1 not 10, he doesn’t get that at all. It’s funny though.

Yesterday I went to the bridal show with Rachel and Nicole and it was awesome! It is the 3rd one I went to and this one was the best. The first one I went to was just me and Jake for ‘fun’ but then I got stressed out.. which sucked. Then I went to the one in January with my sis and mom, and that was fun but stressing too. But this one was just relaxing and fun because I already have a lot planned I just need to fit it all together. And we looked at dresses! Actual dresses in front of my face, not just ones online. It was exciting, but overwhelming.

I am glad we have a long engagement anyone who plans there wedding in 6-9 months is crazy. What are you thinking?? You have to be so stressed out the whole time you don’t have any time to enjoy the engagement.

Well I am pretty much excited about life right now.. yep.

who are you???

So this guy started at my work this week and he works in a diff. department so I don’t see them and today he said, “hi beth!” and I was like “hi!” (why are you talking to me? I don’t know you) the way he said hi was an, ‘I know you’ hi. And I don’t know who this guy is. It is kind of frustrating. Maybe I am reading in to it and he doesn’t know me and is just a being nice, or a freak. We will see. All I know is that I googled him and I still don’t know how I know him….weird.

colorstrology

It's 10:00 i should be asleep, for most people it is not time for bed but i am usually asleep by now. . . Ty does have to have that surgery, which is what i was expecting but it still sucks.
Today one of my co-workers brought in a book that i almost bought before called colorstrology, its like astrology but based off of the day you were born. We read everyone's in our office and all of them were scarily accurate. It was crazy. Mine said:
"You have a great sense of humor and know how to read people and situations with profound accuracy. you are highly emotional and sensitive and therefore may have developed a strong protective layer. it is not easy for others to permeate that shield, even though connection on a deep level is your hearts desire. you are sensual and people find you extremely seductive."

The last part is kind of funny but the rest is totally me.
If anyone wants to look at it:http://www.colorstrology.com/

: (

Ty’s on his way to a doctor’s appointment right now. He always has them. I was going to go but I decided to ask James because this one is going to be bad. They are going to stick a camera up his nose and then down his throat and then make him talk (or cry) to see if a certain muscle is working or not in the back of his throat. It sucks because he will be awake and James will have to hold him down while they do this to him. I want to be there because I know he will be crying, but I don’t want to be there because I don’t want to watch or hold him down, every time I have to hold him down for stuff like that I cry and I am a baby. . . : ( I told him he was going to the doctor today and he said, “the doctors give me owies in my mouth”

They have pretty much already decided that this muscle is not working so they will have to do surgery on it but they have to confirm before they schedule it.

The reason why he has to do this is because all of his air when he talks goes through his nose, which is why nobody can understand him. It’s actually really cute, he likes blowing out candles which he is good at, but it is all through his nose. And he cannot blow bubbles really at all… One time him and Mike (his brother) were playing with those party blowers and Ty couldn't’t do it so we showed him how to plug his nose and he did it, so he went around holding his nose and had a good time. Then he saw Mike do it without holding his nose and he was like, “No mike you gotta do it like this (then he plugs his nose)” It was sooo funny. . .

So any who after this appointment they will set up the surgery and then after he fully recovers from that he will start speech therapy again. Which is good, but sucks because they only have appointments from 8-4 Mon-Fri and I work 7-4 Mon-Fri. WTF? And he has to go 1-2 times a week for a couple of years.
But it is all worth it. He is a good kid.

I feel naked!

So yesterday jakey and i went to look at wedding rings! yeah! My engagement ring is super hard to pair a wedding ring with, its skinny, and has a princess cut diamonds and round diamonds, and diamonds all over. so we have looked a ton of times for something that looks good, we have found a couple 'OK' ones but nothing perfect. . . any who. . . so the store where Jake got my ring was going to clean it for me, and they checked it to make sure nothing was wrong, and while she was checking it one of my big diamonds fell out!! it like popped out actually. So now they have to fix it and i am without my ring for a couple days... : (
This is like the 3rd time since he got it that i had to send it in...it freaking sucks!!! It's because i have so many freaking small diamonds, they come loose and fall out and stuff. but at least we don't have to pay for it or anything.

So because i was so sad, I convinced jake to let me go clothe shopping. : ) yeah for half off shorts!

new hobby

so I've decided that i really like photography. Ty has really made me go crazy with a camera and not to brag, but i am getting pretty good at taking pictures. I got an awesome camera last month, its a point and shoot, but its kind of top of the line point and shoot. and Ty dropped it so i have to send it in for warranty, but i cannot give it up. i really don't want to be with out a camera for weeks. but at the same time, i need to get it fixed.


I have joined this group online that has a bunch of professional photographers and people who like photography and stuff and i am learning so much from them. it is amazing what you can do with a picture!! I am also learning about some editing, I would rather just take a perfect picture in the first place but editing is addicting and you can make the pic look even better. Being in this group has also made me really want a more professional camera. I almost got one when i got my last camera but then i decided that i need a small one to carry in my pocket so i can be ready for Ty. But i think within the next year or two i will get a really nice one along with my point and shoot. I think i am going to take some photography classes somewhere, sometime because it's really something that i am starting to love. The picture below is something i did last night, it took me like 3 hours i think, but i did it and i love it!

Sleepy...

Last night i went to Julie's bachelorette party, it was fun. I wasn't going to go at first because i don't really like to go out much, i would rather stay home with jakey and ty. but i found out that there wasn't a big turn out, and i felt bad. so i went. : ) I think everyone but Julie and her maid of honor paid over $100 for this one night, which isn't really the way it's suppose to work...but any who, i also wasn't going to spend the night, then i decided that the expensive ass hotel was closer to my work then my house was so i figured i could sleep in an extra 10 min or so. then i was 1/2 an hour late to work, it rocked. So since i wasn't prepared to sleep overnight i had to call Jake to ask him if he could bring me clothes and stuff, he did because he is awesome. And he brought me one of his shirts and he sprayed his Cologne on it so i could smell his yumminess while i slept, but it made me miss him even more...I hate sleeping without Jake, i don't recall ever sleeping the whole night away from each other in the last 2 years, if one of us goes out we always come back. I don't like sleeping without cuddling with Jake. And just to prove that i have the best fiance in the world, he gives me a foot massage pretty much every night before bed, and i missed that too.

So after the whole night was over, i am out $100, stayed up really late, had my first drink in the last 4 years, was late for work, missed my foot massage and cuddling with Jake, and miss Tyler. But hopefully Julie was happy, because really that is all that matters.

I love eating just chips n salsa for dinner just because i want to...

Today Jake and I did nothing but watch movies all day, we didn't clean, or worry about anything, we just watched movies. Last night we saw Made of Honor and when we woke up this morning we watched Lars and the Real Girl, then we went to eat some ribs at our favorite rib joint, Shane's Rib Shack. Then we went and saw What Happens in Vegas, then we came home and watched Bowling for Columbine and now we are watching Nacho Libre...After this we will probably watch Hairspray because i love that movie! I love being lazy with my man...

Movies have always been our thing. One year in high school we saw 8 movies together over winter break. It rocked! And we used to do this thing where we would talk to each other on the phone and watch Disney movies together. We would que up the movies so it would play at the exact same time and watch the movie together over the phone. It was fun. : ) we pretty much always see at least 4 movies a month in theaters and we are devoted Netflix customers. I love Jake... : )